Bytes-Infinitum

Forever. You and me, everyday.

2012-02-05T22:50:00.000Z

It's days like this that I live for, really. All the laughing, and smiling, kissing and cuddling. I love the feeling of holding hands. Holding hands. Such a small insignificant act but yet, it can mean so much. It makes me feel like I belong. Like there's somebody who is there for me, to hold me. Especially when the holdee (is this what you call the person holding your hand? :]) is squeezing your hand tight. It sends shivers down my back. Good shivers. I always get good shivers around you. I don't know how you do it. The words you say. The unexpected kisses on the forehead and cheeks. Your arms around my shoulders. Your face when I look at you and how your eyes are so light and lovely. You. Just you.

The weather was being kind to us as well, all the sunshine and warmth-- just what we exactly need for walks in town. Window shopping, people watching, joking and making each other laugh..

I am thankful for the boy, especially now. He who listens to me drone on and on about something and you think he doesn't have a clue about what I'm talking about.. but oh, he does.. he does.

“I feel like sometimes I’m in my own little world and you’re always next to me and I don’t know how you do it but you understand me.” - Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind.

We've bought tickets for a day trip to Edinburgh this coming Wednesday (coincidentally we both have free days on Wednesday! Yay!) and since he's never been to Edinburgh, I am excited to be the one who gets to bring him around. I'll even get to introduce my favorite restaurant in the whole of UK to him. I can't wait. Days with B are indescribable. I feel so complete and lucky and I don't know what this feeling is. But, it is good and I like it and I don't ever want it to go away :)

Amelia xx

Fireworks

2012-02-02T22:46:00.003Z

When you meet someone
so different from yourself,
in a good way,
you don't even have to kiss
to have fireworks go off.

It's like fireworks
in your heart
all the time.

- Lisa Schroeder

[And this is how I feel whenever I'm with you. All the time. (^_^)]

Hello wello people! How has everyone's CNY been so far? Hope it's been well, as it's been lovely for me. The weekend down in London was so very nice, and filled with the yummiest food I could ever ask for and meeting up with Fauzi and Akmal is always such a pleasure! :)

This place is absolutely wonderful for breakfast!

Have been craving pancakes a hell lot recently. I know you can't see it but there are two brilliantly fluffy to-die-for pancakes under those two perfectly cooked bullseye.

Had some taiwanese food for dinner which was soooo freaking nomz!

Crabmeat xiao long baos because I'm a pescetarian this year and thus am not able to enjoy the original pork ones. This one was still amazing though!

Tofu stuffed with prawns and the sauce was AMAZING. oh my gosh. Could do with some of these right nao!!!

Lovely lovely girls. Allisan and her cousin, Jing.

California maki, how I miss thee.

With the Fauzernator :)

I've missed my Saba and rice combo!!!!!!!!

Nice chestnut cake with macha ice-cream. :)

Had brunch the following day at one of our (Allisan and I) favourite chinese places: Pearl Liang.

This is the seafood baked rice. And it was SO GOOD.

Crabmeat wintermelon double boiled soup :)

Sesame cheung fun. I LOVE THIS STUFF! It's like plain cheung fun in some sort of sesame sauce and it is soooooo gooooood!!!!

With Zakky for some fro-yo :)

Fauziiii

Well, there are more photos in my phone but I can't be arsed to move the pictures over right now. But you get the gist. Loads of eating. Actually, just eating mostly. We cycled a bit around Hyde Park cause that's what we do :) and then did some shopping... but mostly we were just enjoying the lovely food. Hehe :)

Last night the Aberdeen Uni had a CNY dinner and Karaoke session and it was really good as well! Tons of food and great entertainment :P (the boy is quite the singer I must say. Hehe :3) I'm so anti-social but I really do enjoy these sort of events over dinner and everything. Unfortunately didn't take much pictures but here are some that I have just to keep memory.

Wow do I look horrid or whut. HAHAHAH what's going on with that face yo. T-T B looks nice though. :P Need nicer photos.

Food food glorious food. All meat though. Two dishes were vegetarian and they were right in front of me! :D hehehe

OKAY anyway, words some other time. Feeling terribly uninspired right nao. :(

Have a good weekend y'all!!! :)

Another 3 more days to Chap Go Meh!!!!!! HAVE MORE FOOOOOD!!!

Amelia XXX

The Dragon Year!

2012-01-23T13:48:00.003Z

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2012!

GONG HEI FATT CHOY!

Hosted a CNY steamboat last night and it was lovely! Thanks to everyone who came for the lovely company and banter! Hehe, we ate till we all almost popped! it was excellent! hehehe

We also had a yee sang which I foolishly forgot to take a photo of! It was yum though. I always look forward to yee sangs every year because it is sososososo yummy! lucky for me, Allisan's mother sent some over from Malaysia! hehe blessed! Really. Not forgetting having Allisan who made pineapple and egg tarts that are to die for! I love pineapple tarts. One of my favourite CNY goodies EVER.

We did really well with the food, managing to finish most of the stuff we had brought and then some cheesecake for dessert. Was soooooooo full! Did like nearly 6++++ rounds with the steamboat and finished off tons of soup. That's the brilliance of steamboat though isn't it? Being able to just stand (or sit-- if you're lucky enough to have chairs for everyone which we didn't...) and enjoy eating for hours... I mean you get breaks in between so I guess that is good. :D hehe

Last but not least, two months with this boy and I am as happy as it gets. Thank you for all the love B! :) We're going out for dinner tonight! Yay! ♥♥

Okay, everyone! Enjoy your 15 days of CNY! hehe and hope you guys get tons of angpaos and good food in your tummy!

Lots of love
Amelia x x x

Come, take a walk on the wild side.

2012-01-21T21:24:00.002Z

#NowPlaying Lana Del Rey - Born to Die.

This song is so good! The first song I've ever heard off Lana Del Rey is Video Games and I love that song too. Another winner :P it's so.. chilled out.. something you can just sit and lounge about listening to.

Right now, I have just made some spiced maple-glazed pecans (yes, I know they are a christmas thing but it is yummy and I really wanted to make some!) and Allisan is grating pineapple to make pineapple jam.... guess for what????? :D CNY is on Monday and we're hosting a pre-CNY/re-union steamboat tomorrow with some friends and therefore are making some snacking goodies for our center table in our living rooms for our guests to munch on. Hehe :)

I have just finished my exams, yesterday.. to be exact and therefore am as free as a bird now! Well, not really considering we have CNY to celebrate.. hehe but good busy you know? Like I don't have anything bad to say about this kind of busy.

Have done a few changes to my hair in these couple of weeks :p Just in time for the new year yeah?

(1)

(2)

(3)

(4)

(1) My hair at the start of the year! Well, it's been this way for a while now.. I had been growing my hair out since March 2011... had a trim in August.. but just basically been growing my hair out. Straight cut. No layers... bangs.

(2) Got my hair cut about 2 weeks ago? With Allisan! hehe and then we went for a movie: Mission Impossible 4 after that. It was a lovely girly session with self-pampering, dinner (DIM SUM), movie... hehe loves it! Anyway, got some layers into my hair, and the stylist trimmed my bangs again but this time at an angle cause I am thinking about growing my fringe out again. Hehe.

(3) This is how my hair looks like usually when I wake up in the morning and put some body into it. I don't know how to explain lah. The thing with layers is that if you don't style it properly, it can look like shit, especially after waking up in the morning so I have accustomed myself to do something to my hair every morning before I go out now :P not difficult la. 5 minutes of flicking with a hair straightener and tadah!

(4) Last night, decided to dye my hair again for CNY. Decided with a reddish colour and I LOVE IT. Pardon the weird picture, it was taken at 2 in the morning... lol. But yeah, sporting some reddish (copperish) hair and I lalalalaloveeee it :D In the sun you can almost see all the red and IT IS SO NICE LA. haha The only qualms I could probably have with it is that it makes me look really fair? And I'm really into the whole tanned/bronzed look atm but I guess that's what bronzers are for??? lol. (I LOVE BRONZERS OMG) but yeah.

Yupyupyup. Imma go and help Allisan out with the jam now! hehe excited about her pineapple tarts yo!

Lots of love and I'll be back soon!

Amelia x x x

Come morning light...

2012-01-12T22:12:00.002Z

Currently, so freaking obsessed with Taylor Swift ft The Civil Wars - Safe & Sound. I mean I am a huge T.Swift fan, but this song, is something different and so very nice. It's the soundtrack for the film The Hunger games and I'm dying (not really) to watch the film! Wonder when will it be coming out?

Just a little update, exams are in 3 days! I would be lying if I said I wasn't freaking out. I am. Well, sort of. Lol. I guess I don't necessarily freak out much about exams cause there really isn't any point to freak out, if you think about it. Whether you freak out or don't freak out, still gotta do them exams. So whatever. We'll just see what happens.

So, I've got 3 papers this sem, all in the span of 4 days. (I know, them lecturers/people who set the dates are so freaking thoughtful right!) then, it'll be CNY already lor. Damn fast the time passing by.

Anyway, this is just to let y'all know where I'll be when I'm not updating for the next week. (At home trying very hard (lol) to revise.)

Everyone who has exams right now, good luck and those who are not, lucky you.. I wish I was you really. I'd much rather be having crazy amount of classes right now. I hate exams to the core and have been explaining why we *don't* need exams in our lives.... mostly to Allisan and the boyfriend because.. they love me and they will listen to me rant. He he he. lol

Okay. Bye.

xx

Live your Life.

2012-01-08T21:57:00.003Z

Now Playing: T.I ft Rihanna - Live your life.

HAPPY NEW YEAR Y'ALL! :) First post of 2012, took me long enough huh, more than a week. I only just got back to good ol' Aberdeen on the 5th. So... in all my late glory, I'm not actually that late :p We left Berlin on the 3rd after having a lovely new years celebration there and was stuck in London for nearly 2 days thanks to the lovely British weather. But I'm not complaining though, we were given a lovely room in the Hilton with breakfast and dinner so... in all hindsight, it was definitely a blessing :D The next day however, we were left in the queue to re-book our flights for about 5 hours and while we were in the middle of the queue, we were approached by a guy who took our names down and got us flight back to Edinburgh! Lucky or what! :)

So anyway, we made it to Edinburgh with the wind in our hair and was glad to find out that we could still use our train tickets back to Aberdeen since the train was also cancelled the day before. So, we made it back to Aberdeen safe, sound and incredibly tired on the 5th.

The past 3 weeks have been absolutely mind-blowing, and all those blood, sweat and tears are definitely worth all the fun, interesting, educational experiences. I cannot explain just how much I love travelling. There's something about waking up to a different city every other day. Something about waking up knowing that you'll be able to discover a whole new foreign piece of area, try something new to eat, take pictures of beautiful landmarks, shopping... everywhere.. It's amazing with 3 girls traveling in a group. We manage to go shopping everywhere. We'll find something to buy. Lol. Even in a supermarket. Never ever walk out empty-handed. So dangerous. Seriously.

But, no, traveling is amazing. I love it. I don't think I'd ever stop traveling. I hope I'll be able to do it for life.

I must say that my favorite place this trip has been Dresden, Germany. It is freaking gorgeous! We didn't know what to expect of the place since we didn't really do any research on the places we were going to visit but Dresden, blew me away. I was literally gaping in awe at the beauty of the place. It was breath-taking.

Some of the pictures.. but no, really. If you ever go to Germany, please make a stop at Dresden. You will not regret it.

Anyway, my resolutions for 2012? There are a few things I have to do and remember.

Be happy. Stay happy.
Remember that I am a very blessed and lucky girl.
Remember to not take everything and everyone for granted. You are blessed and lucky for having all these people and things in your life. Appreciate them.Tell them I love them and that I'm happy that they are in my life. [YOU GUYS KNOW WHO YOU ARE LOR. hehe, I should have told you already ;)]

Basically, those things. :) I mean I can go into a steady paragraph about how I need to lose weight (again) but I shan't. Not this time round. Action before words this time! hehe. OH and I hope to blog regularly. Not everyday, but always every couple of days. And to take pictures all the time so I can have a recollection of the year :p

Exams are in a week. 3 papers in 4 days. I'm a little worried maybe? but no point worrying lah. Just need to stop procrastinating and get some work done. I start fo' realz tomorrow! He he and then it's Chinese new year! :D excite. I love CNY. I love yee sang and fortunately, so does my awesome flatmate/Allisan so we're looking for places online where we can order yee sang in. We have plans for a steamboat for the eve of CNY. So that's definitely something I'm looking forward to :) I love steamboats and I love gatherings and I love CNY so however you look at it, it'll be a win-win situation. Lol. Haha

xx
Amelia.

(p/s SO OBSESSED WITH ELVIS PRESLEY's I CAN'T HELP FALLING IN LOVE WITH YOU. SUCH A GOOD SONG UGH!)

2011.

2011-12-16T12:50:00.004Z

Oh my days! It is the 16th of December 2011, which means in approximately 6 hours, I will be leaving Aberdeen for Christmas Break! Allisan, Diana and I will be conquering Germany (Dusseldorf, Koln, Munich, Numberg, Leipzig, Dresden and Berlin-- where we we'll be spending New Years), Austria (Salzburg and Vienna-- where we will be spending Christmas) and Czech Republic (Prague). A little excited to say the least, totally not prepared though, have not finished packing and before I do, I had to blog! Last blog post of 2011, and I have to say that 2011 has been an AMAZING year so far. Dare I say, best year of my life so far? YES.

So, here goes. My obligatory list of things-I-have-done-in-2011. LEGGO!

Turned 20 years old and had an amazing time doing so.
Finished 2nd year of University and started my 3rd.
Visited various places in Italy, went to Oslo, and took the bus down to London a fair few times, Various places in Germany, Salzburg, Vienna and Prague.
Moved on from a past relationship-- did it properly, with closure and dignity! (not really lol) but nevertheless moved on, and learned that things really do happen for a reason.
Met someone, and even though it is only the beginning, he makes me so very happy, I can't believe it! Truly. :)
Got a new phone-- the Samsung Galaxy S2 (White), new laptop/ The macbook Pro 17" and new DS/ Nintendo DSi XL (Mario Kart version).
Moved into a beautiful flat with a beautiful person.
Learned that I only need people who need me in my life and therefore had done a massive update on my friends. Learned that I have to be careful with the ones I call friends.
Took up climbing-- and enjoyed it! I can totally see myself doing it in a long run! Finally a sport that Amelia doesn't suck in!
Have taken an affinity to make-up and is now completely obsessed with all things make-up. My favourite things at the moment are: Bronzers, Highlighter and Blushers (more exactly -- Nars Dolce Vita is a dream!)
Did not have a single falling out with anyone I deem important in my life.
Lost 7 kilos over summer and while I am slowing putting it back again this Christmas, I have plans for the new year! Watch me :)
Grown up! I think I have matured a whole lot in 2011, thanks to certain situations and people. I have chosen to growTFU. :)
NOT GET INTO A CAR ACCIDENT! omg, so proud. 3 months of driving and not one single car accident k :D ehee
Been happy. And I enter 2012 with hopes of staying happy. Remember, you can always choose to be happy regardless of the situation. Happiness is a choice and a decision.

So far, that's about all I can remember. I hope everyone had a good 2011 and that you will enter 2012 with happiness and faith that the world can be a good place (sometimes -- LOL). May your hopes, faith and dreams never deter.. and that everyone have a great Christmas and a very very lovely New years celebration (and year).

I will be seeing yous all sooner on this blog. I have a few resolutions for the new years and yes, *rolls eyes* lol, losing weight and blogging more is on the list too. I know, I know. :p I will try my best though.. honest!

Here are some pictures from Allisan and I's Christmas dinner a couple nights back :) It was lovely seeing everyone just before the holidays!

Everyone!

HAVE A MERRY XMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Lots of love,
Amelia. xxxxxx

Someone Like You.

2011-11-22T23:40:00.001Z

I love this version so freaking much! The minute Santana starts singing, I get emotional. I don't know if it's the look in her face, the lyrics of one of my favourite songs (Someone like you by Adele). I don't know, I don't know. I do know that I love this mash-up very much even though I have stopped watching Glee now because of their terrible story-line.

I've been busy like a bee but tomorrow! I'll be blogging :) it's a promise! hehe

Hope ya'll enjoy this youtube video as much as I have.

xx
Amelia.

When Love takes over.

2011-11-17T00:12:00.001Z

Oh my days. This is not working out for me. Have been and will be extremely busy but I'll be back next week to blog! I'm loaded up on assignments and tutorials that I will have to finish by Friday since I'm leaving Friday with Allisan to Oslo, Norway for a weekend trip! :)

So stay tuned for some pictures and hopefully good news about our short stay in Oslo!

I've been having the loveliest of days and I hope everyone else out there is too! Have a great weekend!

Lots of love
Amelia.

Blessed.

2011-11-13T15:26:00.001Z

These two people are the most important figures in my life. My papa and mama. I am so lucky that I have these two in my life. :) I am thankful for a mother I can tell everything to and a father who has worked hard in his life just so that I can have the privilege to live an easy fuss-free life.

UGH sometimes I feel like I don't deserve all the good in the world. Seriously. But here I am, blessed from head to toe. It's amazing.

x
Amelia

Straight up.

2011-11-10T17:04:00.003Z

Now tell me; do you really want to love me forever? or is this just a hit and run?

Currently obsessed with J. Cole's Work Out. Such a good song!

There are two things I hate/abhor/detest the most when it comes to housework. I don't mind doing the dishes, I don't mind doing the laundry, I don't mind cleaning the toilet bowl or scrubbing the floor with wet towels.. the two things that I absolutely hate is 1) putting away dishes and 2) folding laundry and putting them back to where they belong. Okay, I think I'm okay with folding laundry, but putting them back to where they belong? oh my goodness. I'd rather scrub 4 toilet bowls. Seriously. There's a pattern though, I just totally dislike putting things back to their right place. I have this bad habit where I meticulously clear my room/desk up but give me 2 days at max and it'll look like it's been hit by a tornado (that is me) again. It's crazy annoying. Bad habit to not return things where they came from. Ugh. Totally dislike putting dishes and laundry away. Always try to put it off for the longest time. zzz

It's Thursday and so far this thursday has been treating lil' ol me alright :) The weather is gloomy, but it's been gloomy for a bit now, with the sun setting at 4pm again. I do miss the sun a little. Could do with a tan. The mornings are lousy as well, always grey and I wake up feeling like it's in the wee hours of the morning when in reality it's already 10am....... too much sleep = lazy Amelia. Hehe

All over Heart Printed Romper - Therapy

Bag - Zara

Snood - River Island

Thick Cardi - Zara

Flats - Melissa

I really enjoyed my outfit for that day. Comfortable and the weather wasn't too cold to be able to go out without a coat and thus explaining my thick cardi. It's great for the afternoon but at night it was far too cold.... lol

On my lips: Pink Topshop Lip Marker

Cheeks: Dolce Vita by Nars (favourite favourite colour ever!)

If I'm not mistaken, these pictures were taken last wednesday. Had a lovely day albeit only having 2.5hours worth of sleep the night before I was pretty pumped up for the day and thus accompanied Allisan to class (I have no classes on Wednesday) and then headed out for a lovely day of shopping :)

Love this girl to the max!!!!!

Hehe, we bought matching lippies! :)

My damage for that day.

There's something about shopping that just makes everything better. I don't know if it's the feeling of having new items or the thrill of just spending money. I don't know. I might have a problem... HAHA But no, I'm not that um.. incapable of controlling myself yet. On the contrary, I've just placed myself on a tight budget for the mean time in order to save some money up for the Christmas trip :)

One more day and the weekend will be here! I can't wait. I am feeling rather tired and sluggish and I have aches all over my body. Who wants to volunteer to give me a good back massage???? If I had longer hands/ more hands, I would totally just give myself one T-T I wish spas weren't so expensive here so I could go and indulge in one and have a facial and manicure while I'm at it. But alas! life of a student, not enough money to go around having spa weekends =/ The sad sad truth. :p

Alrighty then, have a great weekend! Although, I am sure I'll be back here soon enough.

Lots of love,

Amelia.

Ain't no reason.

2011-11-07T13:15:00.003Z

Just taking a break from studying for my MCQ test on Corporate Finance on Thursday. I hate Finance to the core. What am I doing ????? zzz It is boring and totes difficult to understand.

Outfit dets:

Blue Top : Zara

Grey inner top: Neu Look

A-Line Skirt: AI (Asos)

Gret Tights

On my lips: Lip Marker from TopShop in Pink

(this outfit will be featured in a clearer picture in a upcoming post :P)

Top: Urban Outfitters

Shorts: Primark (my fav short ever and only £5! I wish I bought a couple of pairs)

On my lips: #19 Rouge Pur from YSL

Also, note to Amelia: Stop spending money like it's water. It's not and you will regret it soon enough.

Off to Uni now! But first, a good hearty fry-up is very much needed in my system and I'm going to go have that now with the loveliest Kristy.

I had an amazing weekend (again, :D). Hope all of you did too! With fireworks and a ceilidh. Couldn't have asked for anything more.

Have a good week ya'll. Only 4 more days till the weekend again!

x
Amelia.

But I can try..

2011-11-05T10:29:00.001Z

Snood: ASOS

Top: Zara

Shorts: TopShop

Boots: Miss Selfridges

Bag: Warehouse

PU Jacket: H&M

Helloooo, all these pictures are damned old already lor. These one was taken, 2 weeks ago. Diana and I headed out at night for a cocktail party with the gang since the party was at their neighbours. It was such a good night filled with finger food, and plenty of cocktails to go around! It was really nice. I love cocktails. Seriously. So freaking good! (well, it also depends. I like cocktails that don't have anything milky/creamy etc in them.)

Jacket: EDC by Esprit

Snood: Warehouse

Skirt: EDC by Esprit

Boots (not pictured): Zara

Okay, I know this cake looks so gross here in this picture and to be fair, it didn't look very nice in real life as well.. but it's a fresh cream fruit cake (2 tiered) that I had made for Yuka's Birthday! and it really was quite eatable. haha!

Yuka made us a lovely japanese meal for dinner. Major loves! I love sushi. I love potato salad. I love tori karaage (fried chicken). I must say though, the fried chicken was amazinggggggg. Like, I don't know how she did it. I mean, I can totes crown her the fried chicken chef. haha! But it was light and not oily and oh my goodness. Just so freaking good! I had like I don't know. 8 pieces???????

The beautiful birthday girl and I. I am so blessed to be able to meet her (and the others) here in Aberdeen eventhough they will all be leaving in 2012 (since they're all mostly finishing with their degree/masters already) so it will be sad to see them go. I mean, I learn so much from all of these people I meet from all over the world.

Hahahaha, totally random picture. But Allisan and I made Roti Kosong and Dhall for dinner one day and it was sooooo freaking good! Oh my gosh. No, we didn't make the roti from scratch, or the dhall for that matter but who cares haha! It was still so good! It's these simple pleasures in life that really do brighten up a day. Really.

And here's a picture of my newly (now, 1 week old) dyed hair. It is leaning towards the yellow side in this picture but I think it's because the lights in my room are orange so that doesn't help.... My hair is SO long now! I mean, seeing old pictures and now, it has grown some major length there! My plan at the moment is to just let it grow out and have my long hair again! Hehe, it's been a year without long hair and I've nearly forgotten how I look like with long hair.. I almost don't want to know how I look like with long hair again?! Is that weird??? haha

I really do like the short hair though, it's easy and comfortable. I say everyone should try short hair once in their lifes. I mean, Hair grows you know? So if you did think it was a mistake, it'll grow out eventually. So, ya'll should totes try!

Yeah, this blog post is quite random. Jumping from here to there. I apologize. This week has been ultra hectic and I've been so tired! Came home last night at about 7pm after a lovely afternoon out (including a super yummy mexican lunch) with Yuka and took a shower and jumped into bed at 8.30pm and slept till this morning at 9.30am. Amazing or whut?! lol. But I guess I really needed that sleep. So freaking knackered!

Tonight, we're all going out to catch the fireworks which Allisan and I missed last year because we were too busy stuffing our faces with Dosai and curry. But not this year! Wanna see what all the fuss is about. I'm not particularly big on fireworks considering we see them in Brunei so much. So we'll see. Maybe they are like super special here???? lol

Alrighty then. Have a fun-filled weekend ya'll! Appreciate the weekends when they are here because I feel like time is passing by soooooo freaking fast and by the time you realise it's 2012 already and questioning where the hell did 2011 went?! zzz

xx
Amelia.

p/s totes apologize. I do believe this entry is hard to read because of my really bad sentences. Lol.

Heart Skips A Beat

2011-10-30T13:19:00.000Z

"I believe in overdressing. I believe in primping at leisure and wearing lipstick. I believe in pink." - Audrey Hepburn

PU Jacket: H&M

Snood: River Island

American Shorts: TopShop

Leather Stachel: Warehouse

Shoes: Jeffrey Campbell Lita in Taupe Suede

(P/s I love this pair of shorts SO FREAKING MUCH. Ugh I cannot believe how much I love them. They were a dream come true. Thank you TopShop for making me one hell of a happy girl when this appeared in the stores/ in the petite section no less.)

Hello Wello, gonna be back tracking on posts here. I've got tons of pictures I need to put up in due time. It's been so freaking busy! I've not had time to sit down and just chill out with my laptop hence the lack of posts :)

Shoes: Converse All Stars

Glasses: Ray Bans

(nb: These glasses were the result of our Italy trip last Easter.. I was so inspired by everyone around me/ all those fashionable Italians-- that I had to get a pair for myself. Got this specific pair from Sienna, Italy. Took some time to get used to them but I love them now!)

My university peepz! haha we are damn bo liao in class lor. We're in all the same courses which is a huge comfort seeing as 98% of our lectures and tutorials are freaking boring/uninteresting/sleep inducing. So it's really nice to look to the side and see people who you know feeling the exact same way. Also a huge bonus that we all have the same assignments to freak out about with too. Yay for team spirit! (wtf lol)

That's Diana who spent last weekend with me in the flat since Allisan left me all alone in the flat while she went for an adventure in Edinburgh. But it was nice, it's been ages since we last spent proper quality time together so that was fun.

Later that night (this is Friday night btw lol), we went over for Mia's Housewarming which delightfully filled me up with tequila, turkey, potatoes and pumpkin soup. Oh, and apple cake! Brilliant food and lovely lovely company. Always a good combination in my opinion :)

Tee: Pull&Bear

Lipstick: MAC's Morange

It was a long and tiring day but so freaking worth it! I love busy days! There is something about being busy and running about doing things, seeing people you like and having fun.. it's always good. I like that. What I do not like however is the feeling that time is going by really really freaking quickly. Am i the only one who feels this way? (I know I'm not as I have had this conversation with a bunch of people who feel the same way) lol but what do you guys think? Do you feel like time is running by so quickly? For me it is, and I feel like I have so little time to accomplish anything. For example, 1.5 months from today, we will be in Germany/Austria/Czech Republic running around in the snow lugging our luggage and taking crazy amounts of pictures while freezing in the cold. SO EXCITING.

Bunch of us heading out for Halloween tonight! EXCITING TIMES! Can't wait to get ready for it. Will have pictures etc up asap!

Have fun for Halloween!!!!!!!!!! I love Halloween! Always so fun and filled with crazy people. It's good stuff though.

lots of love,

Amelia x

Right through me.

2011-10-26T20:34:00.000+01:00

Oh my god, I did not know how long it takes to rearrange pictures on this blog.

Anyway, hello all! Hope the first half of the week has been treating all of ya'll nicely. The weather in Aberdeen yesterday was horrendous. I actually had to duck into nearby corners/ bus stops to breathe just because the wind was blowing so hard, I couldn't breathe in at all. It really was quite scary. Not the mention, I also experienced a slow-mo tidal wave by a bus on a puddle as well.. that was shit. Lucky I was on the way home and didn't have to stay in soaked jeans and jacket the whole day.

I've been contemplating buying some hardcore boots for the wet and the cold. I'm leaning towards Timberland though, only because we get to customise them boots and I've already gotten the exact pair that I would love. Chocolate brown with pink and red trimmings and a black and white base. I just have to find out how good exactly they are against the cold/wet and how the sizings are and voila! I will have my own customised pair of boots on their way to me in the matter on 2 - 3 weeks.

I really do have a bunch of pictures to put up and I will as soon as the weekend comes round. I've been so ridiculously busy with Uni work and what nots -- I've been working on an accounting paper that is due on Friday and after working on it for about 3 days I've finally managed to balance it out. Don't know how right my working etc are but it's balanced! So I'm finger crossing everything in between turns out right. Besides that, I've got a presentation due Friday as well.. working hard... burning the midnight oil. Ugh. Why do you do this all the frickin' time Amelia. Seriously, you think you'd learn by now.

(You can't see it in the pictures/ or in real life actually-- ugh will get to this soon) but, I've just recently started experimenting with eyeshadows and I love it! Today, I tried the Urban Decay Naked Palette that Allisan so nicely picked up for me and they are such a joy to use! highly pigmented, and a little goes a long way. The problem with Asian eyelids (and a fringe) is that, nobody gets to see the colours anyway because we have tiny ass eyelids. But whatevs. Haha I'm still gonna keep practicing and hopefully get good at it/ confident enough to pull off brighter colours. Right now, I'm sticking to neutral browns and grey/black.. the neutrals.

Make-up, make-up. Me and my bestie *shoutout: Becky!*, used to swore we were never gonna be those girls who relied on make-up when we got older. Such hypocrisy! Lol I mean like, I can totally go out sans make-up but I do prefer myself with stuff on my face. Plus! It doesn't take me long anymore. :') So happy. It used to take me minimum 30 minutes just to pack on EYELINER. And now.. 20 minutes and my whole face's ready-- including eyeshadow and lips! I still don't use any foundation/concealer because I do think they are too much work and I rather my face without all those caked on but blushers. Oh my gosh. I love blushers. But this post is getting too long and I can go on forever about make-up at the moment and I've got a bunch of excel worksheets I should be working my ass off at right now.

So, I bid all of you adieu and hope the rest of your week will be a pleasant one.

x
Amelia.

Top 5 of the moment!

2011-10-23T22:50:00.000+01:00

These are the things I am OBSESSED with at the moment.

1) RASPBERRIES
These are amazing. In muffins, in ice-cream. They are my ultimate go-to fruits at the moment. Shame that the season is over now.

2) NARS BLUSHERS
(Have Orgasm, and just recently got MataHari and Dolce Vita-- can't wait to try them out! Excited!!!)

3) O.P.I ATOMIC ORANGE
(I got this in a mini-version from the Bright Ideas set by O.P.I. This is my favourite colour from the set. I like it so much I am contemplating getting a full-sized version :D)

4) JEFFREY CAMPBELL LITA WOVEN (in Black)
Need I say more? Got the Taupe Suede version and it is a dream to wear. Comfortable with the bonus of the added height. I am in love.

5) MAC's MORANGE
It looks really bright, but once transferred onto lips the colour is amazing. A pop of colour is always much appreciated in the gloomy winter weather me thinks.

On other news, this weekend has been amazing, super fun-filled.. thank you to everyone who made my weekend :)

X
Amelia.

Countdown

2011-10-19T13:42:00.000+01:00

Today, I'm spending it indoors with sweat pants on :D Initially, I was going to get my bum moving and into the library to do some work but I've gotten the message that I'm getting something delivered to the house today so I'll have to stay home in order to receive this package. How frustrating.

Tonight, I'm making Mushroom pasta bake for Alli, Diana and I as we commence our Xmas Holiday hotel reservation process. It looks like we'll be looking at about 12 hotels/apartments/hostels.... and that'll take us a while. On Monday, Allisan and I stayed up till 2am booking train tickets and figuring out our route. I'm so excited and glad to have a plan! Sort of a plan. It's confirmed though, definitely seeing as we already bought our air tickets, train and bus tickets. Omigosh. It's going to happen in 2 months! Alli, Amelia and Diana taking over Germany, Austria and Czech Republic! LOL

I'm going to clean my room and take some room pictures (cause I never find time to do this) and send them out to relevant people. I love my room! It's so comfy and pink and omigosh I really really love my room. And my bed too. But that's irrelevant to this completely :p

Alrighty then. Everyone! have an amazing wednesday and I hope wherever you are, you are experiencing better weather than we are in Aberdeen (4 degrees at the moment).

x
Amelia.

Eternity

2011-10-19T08:56:00.002+01:00

To remember always:

Amelia, (and everyone else who reads this),

Just never never ever lose to life.

x
Amelia.

I like it like that.

2011-10-18T11:12:00.000+01:00

#NowPlaying - Hot Chelle Rae - I Like It Like That.

Well, hello there lovely people of the earth.

Last last weekend, the girls (i.e Allisan and Diana) and I headed for a nice girly weekend in Edinburgh. Edinburgh, to say the least is amazing. I love Edinburgh. It is beautiful, easy to get around, amazing food places around, shopping is easy .. the accent is really really easy on the ears.. and is only a stone throw away from Aberdeen. (I am totally exaggerating here, it is a 3 hour bus journey from Aberdeen but compared to a 12 hour one to London-- it would be considered a stone's throw.)

We managed to get a nice comfy with super super strong showers hostel place a little off the center with a 3 bed room and that fit us quite well! :) It was such a shame that my feet was still healing from a "little" encounter from super uncomfortable shoes and so I was flinching and screaming in agony a whole lot while using the shower. I LOVE STRONG SHOWERS. Like when it all comes full blast onto you? Ah.... loves it. Oh well. Whatever. What should be should be. :(

Anyway, the first thing we did after our feet touched the soil of Edinburgh was to do what any other normal people would do. SEARCH FOR FOOD! :D We'd already made reservations at The Mussel Inn and I'm so glad we did because that place is always packed with people which I'm not surprised by since the food is ah-ma-zing. I've been there with my mother once last year when she visited my for Christmas and has since fell in love with this place. Just to clarify, they do not just sell Mussels :p They do all sorts of seafood! (and a really really mean seafood linguine if I must say)

For 3 young ladies, we sure did order a hell load of food! First off, we had love crusty bread with butter and then the main courses: Mussels in our desired broth for Diana and Me and Baked Oysters for Allisan. We also ordered side dishes of Scallops, creamy seafood chowder and a bowl of fries to go with everything else. It was perfect. If you are a seafood lover, I really highly recommend this place. It's not too pricy and it is situated in the city center which makes it perfect for lunch to start a lovely shopping day or dinner to end a lovely shopping day (yes, I love shopping.). Either way, remember to make a reservation because this place always ends up being really full!

Diana starting with some Bread. Cause crusty bread and butter is the way to go T^T

Super hungry and excited for food!


Mmm... Lunch........ Seafoood........ NOMZ

After a really satisfying lunch, we checked into our Hostel and continued to do some shopping, have some coffee.. it was raining the whole freaking day so that was kind of shit. But apart from that, shopping was lovely as always. Didn't do much, we only just went to Urban Outfitters and then stopped for some Costa. Met up with Remi and Yuka for some drinks at a bar and for dinner at my favourite Korean Restaurant : Shilla Restaurant. SERIOUSLY GUYS. If you ever go to Edinburgh..you NEED to try this restaurant out. Food is amazing. I love it. I love it. I love it sooooo much! Everytime I visit Edinburgh, it is a must go to place for lunch or Dinner or even both!!!!!! Not kidding. Lol. I have so much love for this place.

Diana and Remi


Yuka looking beautiful as always :)

So the following day, we got up early and checked out and went for a SUPER LOVELY BRUNCH out of the city center. Had to take a taxi to get there but it was worth it. We went to TOAST. We did go a little early and they weren't open yet so we decided to take some pictures outside. Look we're sooo colourful! :D hehe


I am SOOOOO addicted to glittery nails. Such a bitch to get it off but OMG SO FREAKING PRETTY! :P

After a lovely brunch, we had a really successful shopping session! Managed to buy soooooo many things I was looking for! Mainly stuff I have been lusting over over summer. Ie. Jeffrey Campbell's Lita, Nars Blush in Orgasm, M.A.C Lipstick in Morange, M.A.C Paint Pot in Ruebenesque, Clinique's All-About-Eyes Eye Cream and a few other facial things. Summer has made me all obsessed about beauty products. It's so unhealthy! Especially for my bank account! Grr :p

Oh oh and I've never really done an outfit of the day post but I'm going to start! hehe

Yellow cropped knit top with heart cut-outs : Jane Norman

High-waisted Moto dark blue denim :Topshop

Snood : River Island

Wedge Booties : Topshop

Red Jacket : Zara

Anyway, after our super expensive shopping session, we decided to call it a day and to go and have tea and we decided on the loveliest place called Eteaket and we had their afternoon tea which was super nice as well. if you are looking for a nice place to have tea at in Edinburgh, this can be the place! They have the cutest little cafe and they serve their tea in lovely vintage pieces and they are generous in portion size. We were all stuffed silly from this afternoon tea that we didn't even have dinner!

Basically all the food we had for 3 girls! hehe

That about sums it all from our Edinburgh trip. It was lovely, and very much needed. It's always nice to get away from reality for a breather and what better way than to have a nice girly weekend out of town simply eating, shopping and living life. :p

Wow this post took me longer than expected. Gots to get ready for Uni now! I've got tons to do today (sort of) but the weather is looking dull again!!!! Grrr.

Have a lovely day guys and hope you enjoyed this post!

x
Amelia.

New beginnings

2011-10-17T18:24:00.002+01:00

Hello! :)

Okay, so this is a new layout. A little complicated but once you get the gist of it, it gets easy :P and pretty fun to be clicking around and stuff.

I'm finally un-privatizing my blog as of today again! The past two months was good but now it's all out in the open again! As you guys can see, in the section above labeled Amelia, is where I've got a short description etc, you'll be able to read it and that's about it. It's as simple as it gets eventhough the whole new layout looks pretty complicated.

I will also be labeling my posts now! So it'll be easier to see. I'm still wondering what kind of labeling I should give my posts. Emotions wise.. or I don't know. We'll see by the end of this posts what I've decided on :P

Anyway, this is a new beginning for my blog once again. I welcome all my readers, new and old back to Bytes-Infinitum. :D I will assure you that from here on, I will blog regularly with constant updates and news about my life and thoughts.

Wait for it!

x
Amelia

(Okay, I've reached the end of my post and I still have not decided. Anybody got suggestions? Comment below! :D)

Let the choirbell sing.

2011-10-13T17:26:00.004+01:00

Having mexican night tonight with the girlies! So excited. It's not too mexican lah! Just some salsa, guacamole, tortilla chips, and vegetable fajitas. I've made the salsa and it's not tooo bad. It's different but I guess we'll see how the girls receive it. So many things has been happening and I just have not had the time to sit down and type it all down. I must, soon!!!! T^T

So wait for me blog, I miss you and I will be back soon soon sooon!!!

x
Amelia.

Neglected

2011-10-05T14:26:00.002+01:00

I have neglected you for nearly a month my dearest blog. I apologize truly. I've been back in the UK and have been settling in just nicely. I've got the loveliest flat ever in Aberdeen with one of the most awesomenest flatmate a girl could have (ie Allisan) and I can't help but feel so happy and blessed about this. I come home everyday to a super nice smelling flat and a very comfy bed and a hot shower and an abundance of food to feed my hungry stomach and I really do not know how I got here. I am so happy about it.

Other than that, university has officially started and it has been pretty hectic already with workload piling high up and due dates etc all being set in stone. Dinner parties on the other hand, we've been having loads of that over at ours and it's so good, being able to cook and feed people. It's a little expensive so we're putting a little halt on it soon, not before we have our mexican night next week though. :)

Shopping, another lovely lovely expensive past-time it seems. I need to stop this pronto. Like, more actions less words please Amelia. :p

Allisan, Diana and I have bought our to and fro tickets for our Germany/Austria trip in December/January! it'll be 2.5weeks of winter goodness, celebrating Christmas hopefully in Vienna and New Year's hopefully in Berlin. We need to plan soon.

I'll be writing more often of course with pictures to boot.

x
Amelia.

Come to the End.

2011-09-17T17:02:00.001+01:00

Alas! All good things must come to an end and in my case, summer of 2011. This summer has been nothing short of perfect. It was, happy, peaceful.. a lot of time to chill out, have fun, smile.. It has been a great summer.

In this 3 months, I've managed to grow a little more. Learn a little more in this journey called life. Haha so corny wtf :p

Things I've managed to accomplish this summer.

Lose weight. Nearly 6 kgs.
Stayed off meat since beginning of August.
Not get into a huge fight with neither of my parents (:
Managed to spend buttloads of time with mommy :)
Made peace with Patches the Cat.
Not cry. (except tonight and tomorrow-- cause I hate goodbyes.)
Not get into any car accidents!
Not fall in love.
Meet the ones that matter to me, and spent good time with them.
To secure a place to live in Aberdeen over the means of internet and cell-phones.
Got a new laptop :)
Got a new DS :)
Learn how to apply eyeshadow with just my fingers. LOL
Bought BB Cream and Eyebrow palette.
Fainted TWICE! and admitted into the Emergency ward. LOL
Happiness.

Okay, so many of them are like just (~_~) but I'm really glad how these 3 months went by. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Okay, lie. Maybe I wouldn't have minded going overseas for some of the days. But it didn't happen. So it doesn't matter :P

All I know is I'm going to leave Brunei with a heavy heart. :'( And a very overweight luggage.

x
Amelia.

Fangbanger

2011-09-14T14:52:00.000+01:00

"Just keep breathing baby, it's just that simple."
- S04E12 True Blood, Said by Jesus to Lafayette when asked how is Lafayette supposed to live knowing he killed the man he loves. (ps it was unintentional since Lafayette was possessed by Marni the evil woman.)

Watched the Season 4 Finale of True Blood and it was heartbreaking. They killed some really good characters but what really is depressing is, now I have to wait till Summer 2012 for the 5th season which basically sucks.

But, that quote at the top? That's my favourite quote of the moment! It's the truth. To just keep breathing, and everything will work out somehow, as long as we are alive...

Also sent my baby cousin off today and cried a bunch. I am going to miss that girl sososososoooo much! :( argh!

Nothing much really. Going to UBD tomorrow before 8am to catch Becky doing some debate action and then we're gonna talk a bit and sort things out. I'm nervous, finger crossed for me please! Haven't spoken to her in like a month! :x hmm..

Yeah.

Been having Each-A-Cup's pearl green tea in various flavours (my fav is Mango atm) every single day.

It's so good. I'm going to miss it.

x
Amelia

Can't keep my eyes off you.

2011-09-11T10:33:00.001+01:00

Hello :) One more week in Brunei before leaving for the UK again! I've been eating, and eating, and basking (not really) in the sun. I'm definitely not going to miss this heat at all. For the first time in my 20 years of living in this world, my cheeks are inflamed with pimples and it is depressing as hell :( I have about 4 big yucky pimples on my cheek and they have the nerve to all be lined up in one straight line. I'm thinking it's probably from my glasses, since there's all that friction with sweat thanks to the heat. I've stopped wearing my glasses for a bit so fingers crossed that they will clear up soon!

Apart from that, spent the lovely day with Amilyn who's leaving on Wednesday and I am sad about this. This summer with her has been amazing, no fighting, a whole lot of laughing, I will miss her positive-ness and her cheerfulness and her ability to layan me anytime. She makes me happy, she does. I hope she studies well and is always safe in Malaysia. Really.

I've also got a whole list of things I want to buy as soon as I touch down in the UK. Which I know sucks considering I shouldn't even be over-spending. zzz I really should think about looking for a job. Argh! Probably not going to happen though cause I don't wanna be too busy "working". If y'know what I mean. I am going to cut down on my food though, so hopefully instead of food money, I can use that money on things I want. OH. I can use them as motivators! Like, for every 1 kg I lose, I can buy something new. Hurhur.

Maybe.

Am I horrible? yes, I sure do think so.

-_-

x
Amelia.

Gutted.

2011-09-09T11:48:00.003+01:00

I'm sitting here in the dining room in silence with my mother and a random song playing in the background. It's a Bon Iver song, Come Talk To Me, covered by Peter Gabriel. I don't like it. It's weird. I'm not gonna be downloading this. Next song. The Script's For the First time. This is a good song.

I'm worrying about University. When did I grow up and started worrying? Beats me. I start in 2 weeks and I'm freaking out that dad hasn't put in any money into my bank a/c so I can't pay 1/2 of my fees yet. I'm freaking out that they won't let me into Uni if I haven't paid my fees. T-T

Silly though. I'm sure everything is going to be OK.

Mom is making Shirataki Noodles stir fried with eggs and veges for me tonight. 10cals for a whole packet of noodles, it's amazing. I must find this in the UK.

Will write soon. I've got loads on my head so my mind is always heavy, but here's the things. I don't know what I'm thinking about. It's always so upside down messed up, blurred up visions. I don't know what I'm thinking about.

This pisses me off.

x,
Amelia

Like I Always Do.

2011-09-08T13:23:00.001+01:00

My favourite picture EVER. Hehe Scampy being kind of like what-the-hell and I'm all crazy rabbit face there :p

Momma <3

My Princess Camera-Shy Melody :)

We will always have each-a-cup..

My sister.

Amelia.

Don't wanna sleep alone.

2011-09-06T14:01:00.003+01:00

Hello wello, I've been MIA-ing long enough! Gots to update this space. Don't feel bad though diary, I've been mia-ing on almost everything, even tumblr. But I've been busy, in a good way.

I've got approximately 12 more days in Brunei before heading back to the UK for my 3rd year. I don't know about it, but I am getting a super good feeling about this year. Like, it's going to work out for me, y'know? I am finger crossing and wishing and hoping for the best this year. I will make it a good year for myself. For my own sake.

Last week, daddy's god sister; ku jie, came down to Brunei from HongKong with her friend Catherine and I got to play tour guide for a whole week, including painstakingly speaking cantonese. Proud of myself though, managed to get through to them with my shitty ass canto. :3 hurhur. But, it was nice having them round, something to do in this mundane country. Although, I do feel really bad for Brunei, it's such a one visit thing. Like, everybody comes once. And then, they never come back. :p I guess I get it though, Brunei is horrendously boring. There's nothing here for anyone really. I can not see myself living here for a long time. Really.

Also, for the past week, since they were here, I had so much to eat.I weighed myself just before they came, on Monday (30th August 2011) and my weighing- scale told me that I was a nice 52.5kgs! :) Oh happy days. I've probably put on some though after pigging out the entire week -- so disappointed with myself. But shut your trap Amelia and get back on the wagon! I will have a smokin' hot body by Summer 2012. Really. No letting go okay Amelia. No more. Nobody will call you fat when you come home next year.

I have so many plans for Aberdeen/ 3rd uni year. First, I want to get my life organized. I want to make sure I attend classes, and revise and know what I am doing so I don't shit in my pants when the exams are near. Second, I want to look presentable at all times. This means dressing nicely and making use of my clothes, and make-up and not to be lazy. Third, I just hope to have a good time and laugh a lot and smile and be happy.

I really want to be happy. I would also like my period to come back regularly. I'm so pissed off with my irregular periods that started since coming back to Brunei. It's like I'm constantly in a shitty PMS mood and always hungry and annoyed and I get really really sick cramps that hurt and I feel like shooting my stomach. Argh! I hope it come backs as a regular seriously. I'd be happy to be bleeding out of my you-know-what. Also, my skin! It's been breaking out like a mofo. Argh!

Urgh, I'm going to miss Scamp so much when I leave. I wish I could have him to come back with me to Aberdeen. That would make me so happy.

I can't wait to finish Uni, and work and have my own apartment that I can like have dogs in and decorate the place lovely and have a nice wardrobe and shoe and bag collection.

SERIOUSLY.

x
Amelia

New clothessss :)

2011-09-02T14:53:00.001+01:00

New covers for my blackberry and my iPod.

nomz :)

xxxxxxxx

Just because.

2011-09-01T16:08:00.003+01:00

I've been having two of the most ugliest, black ganglions on my fingers. Today, I managed to cut, and peel out all of the blackish things under it. And I felt no pain.

I now have antiseptic cream over the wound and it's all bandaged properly.

I hope they heal properly. I'm so annoyed that I stopped biting my nails and then these ganglions decided to pay me a visit! The nerve!

Daddy suspects those blackish things to be dead fibres. They probably are since they're most buried deep in my skin and I had to literally dig them out.

Yuck. Gross. Why do these things keep growing on me? (i.e, Vernie the Verucca, Hermione and Granger the ganglions, and Cornflakes the callous under my right foot)

WHY?!

I just really needed to tell someone this and seeing as I'm not really talking to anyone, at least not in Brunei, I don't really know who else is there :p Thank you Blog :3 (yes, I totes told my parents already. I'm so pleased abt it!)

x
Amelia

Good days

2011-09-01T16:01:00.001+01:00


<3 <3 <3

xxxxx

Amelia

Two different.

2011-08-27T17:27:00.000+01:00

because I miss my dearest Kalowee so dearly <3

Amelia

Sunshine and dribble.

2011-08-26T13:35:00.000+01:00

Scampy and I in some super vain chillin' moments. I love my dog. I wish I could do a webcam picture taking session with Melody. She's so understated on my blog. My princess :*

Anyway, had an uber super day with Diana :) Eating and talking and watching Conan the Barbarian. I like big beefy guys. Sue me! It was a good film anyway, just a little too violent etc but it was still good. Had popcorn which completely sucks because I am supposed to be a skinny bitch but argh, so tough when the popcorn is so good. Too good to pass. True story.

Daddy bought me a lovely pink pair of headphones which are uber comfortable. They're knockoffs of Monster beats by Dr.Dre and eventhough they are knockoffs, they are in the loveliest shade of baby pink and costed daddy a good 200 bucks. I am so :( for him cause they're not even the real thang. But they work well. If I put it on high, I can't even hear my self talking so hee-hee.

Sometimes i get this realization that I am so blessed to have my parents. They love my unconditionally. They never tell me they wish they had a son, I have a mother whom I can tell everything to and a father who spoils me unconditionally. I am just so blessed. I'm so happy to have them as my parents although sometimes they do get on my nerves (which parents don't right?).

Tomorrow, heading out to sungkai with mommykins at i-Lotus! Nice to spend some quality time with her.

x
Amelia.

p/s I am feeling very happy today (:

Here I am.

2011-08-25T14:18:00.000+01:00

Scampy boy and I <3

Lifesaver. Really.

Mommy dearest

Pretty Pretty (:

Golden Couple.

B) hehe

Fauzernator.

Just a few picture to sum up my past week. Met up with the Golden Couple today and if I could wish eternal happiness to only one couple in my life, I'd wish it to them. They clearly belong to each other. They're so good for each other. They make me believe that there's someone out there for me. Like, one day I will meet a guy who is perfect for me. I love hanging out with them, they're so.. fun.

We had indian and then some pearl milk tea. Hung out from 2.45 all the way till 6.30! Can't believe we had so much to talk about, we didn't even notice it was 6.30pm already until I started noticing it was getting dark outside :p

Shim recommended me to sell my clothes on eBay! According to him, he's earned about £100+ from it already and it's a great way to sell off clothes we don't want anymore! I'm going to try it as soon as I return back to the UK. Better than simply just throwing away all my clothes! Might as well make some money out of it. I'm just really scared that nobody will want to buy my clothes :( Haha. Will see how it goes.

Argh the internet is so bad in Brunei. One of the things I will definitely not miss when I return to the UK.

x
Amelia.

Thank you

2011-08-24T16:30:00.001+01:00

Today, I spent a lovely dinner and shopping spree out and about with Diana. We talked, we shared, we laughed, we ate .. it was good. She never fails to make me feel alright about myself. Really. I vow thatI will treat Diana better, I will control my temper and laugh when I usually would frown and rage. I will give her the friend she deserves.

We had dinner at Kaizen in Bandar and it was lovely! The fish and sushi and nomz. Loved it, after which we headed down to Times Square to go shopping and came out spending shitloads of money. (i.e about 100Brunei- which is a lot considering I don't have that much money on me). Bought myself my first ever BB Cream, more nail polishes, eyeliners and make-up removers. Why Amelia!! haha. I have an obsession with sparkles at the moment. So anything glittery, sparkly, especially in nail colours. I will buy. (-_-) It doesn't help that I've stopped biting my nails so now I can haz nice long nails too which looks great with nail varnishes. Gah. And Eyeliners. Finally found the perfect eyeliner T^T by Maybelline, called Hypersharp Liner and it's so good!! I'm planning to buy about 5 to bring back with me to the UK. Haha.

I can't wait to try on my BB cream! It looked so good on Diana when she used it. My complexion is decent, nothing to complain about. But, I'd like to have a real balanced nice-looking complexion and now I can with the help of my BB cream! I can haz nice skin and nice nails. Happy Amelia! :3

It's so funny how vain a person can be. I used to be vain when I was younger, constantly taking pictures etc. But I never imagined my self to be obsessed with eye-liner and trying stuff like BB creams out etc. Hehe AND COLOURED CIRLE LENSES! omg, livesaver. SERIOUSLY.

Meeting with the golden couple tomorrow (i.e Shim and Viv) so that'll be nice :) I've only got about 3 weeks here in Brunei left! better make it worth it. Gots to spend tons of time with mommy dearest :)

Things to do before I leave:
- Get a haircut
- Do my nails
- Buy things for Kristy and her family
- Finish off Allisan's Scrap Book
- Spend tons of time with mommy. I.e no more going out with friends etc after this week.
- Pack my bags/ buy required things
- Get a facial done.
- Try out my bb cream and if it's good buy another one/ if it's not-- look for a better one.
- buy 4 more Maybelline eye-liners

About it lol.

x
Amelia.

Someone Like Me.

2011-08-22T14:30:00.000+01:00

Things that make me laugh:
Scamp : *licks my dad's feet*
Dad: Why you so dirty one??????

LOL

My favourite line in Kings of Leon's Use Somebody.

"Off in the night while you live it up I'm off to sleep,
Waging wars to shake the poet and the beat
I hope it's gonna make you notice
I hope it's gonna make you notice
Someone like me, someone like me"

Today has been an amazing day spent with people I truly love and who, truly loves me. My parents, always and my loveliest cousin, Amilyn. I love that girl, I really do. She's like a sister to me and it pains me to know that my father won't ever accept that she's really just like family to me. But I won't talk about that today.

Also ate like a cow today, but what else is new right?

Also some thing that warmed my heart; the facebook emails I sent to those who matter, I received emails from them today wondering about my well-being and if I'm okay and reminding me that I am loved by people who might not be near me but have me in their heart. I'm glad. I'm glad.

Some days the world is so beautiful, I suppose most days it's beautiful. I'm just always so blinded by all the ugly in the world that the human race brings. The world itself, is wonderful, I'm sure.

But, of course, there's some people who make all the bad good, and I'm thankful for those people.

x
Amelia.

La dolce vita

2011-08-21T15:16:00.000+01:00

I had a great day :) baked peanut butter cookies, had a great dinner out with my parents and loved every minute I got to spend with them. I also have two amazing dogs who somehow has the sniffles, must be the weather and I'm so blessed to have a maid at home who'll clean up after me. Good food for dinner, even ice-cream for dessert ...

I've been reading a couple of tumblrs and I realise that I would want to be with a guy who accepts all kinds of lovin' whether it is homo/hetero/bi. Love is love. There's no other way to describe love. Why should love between a man and a woman be any different from love between a man and a man or a man and a woman. We are all human beings, all homo sapiens.. we're all the same. In the future, I'd like to be with a man who will love my child regardless of his or her sexual orientation. This is a little far-fetched but I'd like to be able to accept my child in whatever form he or she appears to me in. I swear I'll love that little boy/girl.

I feel that sometimes I am so, misunderstood. Really. People see me as difficult and really really bitchy and mean. But I don't think I am so. I can be difficult at times, and bitchy but not mean. I mean, who's never difficult? We're not perfect??? I think I am a nice person, deep down. I only have good intentions. I usually don't mean what comes out of my mouth... I don't know. I feel like nobody's ever going to really know who I am, and love what I am. I feel like, all I have is myself. I hope I find someone who will understand, accept and love me for who I am.

These days I've been feeling more alone than ever. Must be the PMS. Or, the cut down in social networks but I miss having someone by my side. I miss having someone to cuddle with. I miss coming home to someone who'll talk to me till I fall asleep. I think it's time a boy came by and save me from all my troubles. Bring me high on the clouds, make me happy. It sucks that I have come to the realization that perhaps, I am a relationship person. I think being in a relationship is good for me regardless of what happens, I am usually happy. The minute the break-up happens, that's when shit goes down. I don't know.

Not that being single is not fun at all. Sure, it has its perks. But it's been a year. I could do with some spooning, some kisses on the forehead, giggling uncontrollably and making up next to a face that makes me smile.

Who knows? Maybe next year might be my year.

x
Amelia.

For the first time.

2011-08-21T04:09:00.000+01:00

Hello my dearest darling blog thst's been with me since 2006. It's been 5 years and I'm so darn glad that I've got you to write all my feelings and thoughts and memories in you. Best decision ever, bytes-infinitum.

I'm going to privatise you, just for my eyes because there's no point for anyone else to be reading you really. Gives people more to talk about. I'm the only one who ever goes through my archive to see what I used to do/ how I used to feel like etc, and I want to be able to write freely and without people judging me.

I miss writing about what I used to do every single day. I've obviously changed since 5 years ago, some for the better, some for the worst.. I've grown up a bunch, I'd like to think. I will start again though, recollecting my days with pictures and my thoughts.

So, for the mean time you'll be for my eyes only and I somehow, find that very comforting. These days, I'm taking a break from all things social. I'm leaving my cell phone switched off, I'm taking a break from twitter (who knew I'd have the power to do that since I'm such a twitter-holic) , and Facebook. Cause Facebook is the root of all thing evil, gossip, etc, I'm going to keep away from Facebook for as long as I can. I am even thinking of disabling my Facebook. Actually I think I've made up my mind while typing this, I'm going to disable my facebook. Sent out fb mails to those to matter, and the rest, well, fuck all of them. Well, yeah.

So here's to you and me. I'll be writing a lot more often than I usually do. I always feel like there's so much i can't say cause of the eyes that would be able to read you. But, no more. No more..

Lots of love,
Amelia.

I'm ready now.

2011-08-21T03:51:00.003+01:00

x
Amelia.

Gotta catch em all!!!!

2011-08-14T16:19:00.000+01:00

Hehe, I love this snake-print inspired H&M Cardi that I made my mom get when she was in Aberdeen for winter.

Today was such a good good day! Spent good shopping day with momsie, and bought bags! For my laptop, for my DS ... and nail polishes. How I love thee. Had a lovely Paella for lunch as well, which was a quite refreshing considering I've only been having asian food for the past 2 months. (Not that I am complaining :P)

I am currently playing Pokemon Black on my DS and have now reached Castiela City and it's amazing! All these little roads that I can turn into, and all the different characters I meet. So different! So cool! :3

Pokemon, pokemon, pokemon. I've played you since forever. Since I was 8 or 9, since I had my first ever Gameboy in yellow, and played Pokemon Yellow. And then I tried out Pokemon Red, and Platinum, Diamond, Pearl, Soul Silver... whatever version, I've tried it all and here's the thing: I've never once finished a game of Pokemon. I either a) lose interest in the game halfway or b) lose interest in the game halfway. So this time, I am aiming to finish the damn game. I will finish Pokemon Black. MARK. MY. WORDS. Please Amelia, don't get bored halfway, don't just get lazy from leveling up pokemon, don't get annoyed with all those random ass pokemons jumping up to you for battles eventhough they are obviously going to lose. JUST FREAKING PERSEVERE WITH IT! AND FINISH THE DAMN GAME.

I have a few issues with Pokemon.
a) Since we are only give 6 damn slots at one time, how do I know which pokemon to keep on hand/ which pokemon to keep leveling up, and even if I do, what if I find another pokemon of the same type that I prefer, DO I JUST LET ALL MY HARD WORK AND TIME GO TO WASTE?!
b) WHY CAN'T WE JUST JUMP OVER HEDGES.
c) Why are poke-centres always so far away?! T^T Such a drag to keep going back everytime all my pokemon faints.
d) WHY IS LEVELING SO PAINFULLY SLOW?!

and other issues which I can't seem to remember at the moment.

But yeah. Anyone got tips/pointers/ADVICE? Cause I really want to finish this game. Also, any advice on which is the best type of pokemon to keep on hand at all times. Right now I am leveling up my Electric, Flying, Water, Grasss (cause I used the HM Cut on him), Fire. Should I level my Physic one up? Will she be useful?

THANK YOU (in advance hurhur)

x
Amelia.

Unbreakable.

2011-08-12T12:56:00.000+01:00

us at 8am, after barely having 3 hours of sleep. hehe

Words cannot describe how much I absolutely love the picture above. I love it. Everytime I look at it, I can't help but crack a smile. Great friends are hard to come by and I'm one of the lucky few to have found that opportunity. Missing in the picture (because they are away in another far a way land which makes me sad), Chloe Tan, Allisan Quay and Nuryul Elyani ;)

This week has been a blast so far! The sleepover at Empire on Tuesday was absolutely lovely, filled with laughing, swimming, tai-chi lessons *wink, eating desserts at midnight, snailing, and just so so so much laughter. Sleeping at 4.40am and waking at 8 for more swimming, that is how we roll.

I know I keep repeating, but I am so frickin' thankful for good friends. I am I am I am. I don't show it sometimes, but I do appreciate you guys so freaking much. You guys give me a reason to keep going on with life.. and I mean this, truly. :)

I'm editing pictures at the moment so I'll be putting some up ASAP.

Met up with the smelliest (well, of course he isn't smelly :p), Eric.T just now for some shahbandar action and I was pretty proud that I could do all 5 (or is it 7) hills in under 1.5 hours! :D hehe. But it was good meeting up and seeing his face :)

Tomorrow, bringing Scampy boy to see the vet for some of his annual vaccinations and then sungkai at OGH! (Thanks UBDFM for the vouchers!)

It will be a good day :)

x
Amelia!

Please come in.

2011-08-08T11:32:00.000+01:00

I've been wondering. I think I am the sort of girl who pushes people away when they show the first signs of being nice. Or like, when people offer to get to know me, I run. Fast. It's like I can't stand anyone who's nice to me. Like, I think it'll go awry or something. Make me dinner, I run. Be polite, I run. Look good, I run. Smile, I run. I think I've gotta stop doing that. Maybe I should hang around a little more, and not be so scared to get to know people who are trying to get to know me. Why am I so rude? Why am I so, anti-social? Most importantly, why am I so scared of letting new people into my life?

I'd like to know the answer. It's a bad habit. One that I must correct before I regret anything.

Anyway, bought some Soy Flaxseed Tortilla chips from Supa Save today and I really really like them! They would go so well with some good ol' guacamole with loads of lime.. mmm ....

Also, went to Shahbandar with Angel and we were terrified of the pack of monkeys we had to walk past. We were practically clinging onto each other for dear life (I exaggerate of course.) But it was scary. Felt like we were in the planet of the apes or something.

Tomorrow's the day! I hope it goes well!!!!! 3xcit3!!!!!!!!!!

Argh gonna go drown myself in some more soy flaxseed chips cause I'm horrible like that. Also, I'm kind of pissed off because some people are such assholes, i wonder how they sleep at night.

hah! Emotional eating... you will be the death of me and my ever-expanding waist line.

xx
Amelia.

Tumblr appreciation post.

2011-08-07T08:34:00.000+01:00

Lately, I've been a little obsessed with my Tumblr. Well, I've always been pretty obsessed with Tumblr. Having one of my tabs on mozilla always on tumblr. But recently, it's the only site that I can sit on for hours and hours just looking through my dashboard and reblogging and reblogging and reblogging. Not that I'm complaining. It might sound extremely weird/silly but when I read some of the things that I come across, it makes me feel so much better that I'm not the only one who feels that way you know? Like, I'm so thankful that someone out there feels the same like me and decides to put it on tumblr. So, I don't have to find the words that I want to say. I can just reblog. Some of them are so extremely spot on. I always feel like I've found something special when I do.

I find tumblr to be extremely therapeutic. It has helped me out a bunch. I love my tumblr blog. I go through it when I'm feeling nostalgic and it's amazing how, going through my old posts, I can figure out where exactly I was at that time of re-blogging. You know what I mean? Like when I got a new boyfriend, or when we broke up. Doing the whole LDR things, the angry, sad, and then finally getting better part. And then there's always the part where I sort of have the self-hate thing going on. Cause, come on, everyone has that little part in them.

ARGH I LOVE TUMBLR. hahahahah

Anyhoots, I will get pictures on this blog ASAP. Well, as soon as the internet stops fucking up. I met up with the lovely Vivian today as well as Jacob. And it's was so good to see Vivian! I haven't seen her in a whole year. It was good. I always get so afraid of meeting old friends cause I'm scared that I wouldn't have anything to say. But it's so silly. How can we not have anything to say to one another, right? Silly Amelia.

Last night, I cut my own fringe with my mom giving me instructions. I thought I did a pretty good job. It's a little of a coconut looking fringe at the moment but I guess it'll grow out.

ALSO watched The Rise of The Planet of The Apes yesterday and IT WAS SO GOOD! Some parts made me bawl like a baby and some parts made me gasp out loud in disbelief... but it was a good show and I enjoyed myself very much. Tom Felton does a good asshole character. The kind you want to shoot in the face. And James Franco is always good. Always. ;) But go watch! It's the kind of movie that gets you thinking afterwards. It's so.. mm. I don't have the word for it.

This week is going to be good! I can feel it in my fingers. I FEEL IT IN MY TOES. But we girls are going for a little bonding/sleepover/food night and I know it's going to be amazing.

I will post pictures up soon!

xxxx
AMELIA.

new Shoes!

2011-08-06T11:17:00.000+01:00

Hehe, mommy bought me a pair of crocs. Yup, ugliest shoes alive right? Blame Sanrio for doing a collab with them! They make the cutest pair of Hello Kitty crocs! There's another green one that I absolutely love, but it's exterior is made of cloth, so it would get drenched/ dirty really quickly. So, I chose this one. I LOVE IT TO BITS! It's too cute! Argh. Haha

No arguments on the level of comfy-ness. it's good. It's pretty. It's ADORABZ. What's there not to like.

Even got the approval of Miss Diana Law! :D hehe

xx
Amelia.

Traffic

2011-08-05T12:54:00.001+01:00

I've been trying every day to upload pictures that I wanna share on my blog but the insanely DUMBFUCK internet in Brunei is not making it happen. One thing that I will not miss in Brunei is definitely the shitty ass internet speed and maybe the really stupid drivers as well.

I mean seriously, my mom herself said that if I actually stayed in Brunei, half my face would be filled with wrinkles in a span of probably 6 months cause I get so frickin pissed off while driving. #roadrage. People never use their signals/ which means they just cut lines ANY FUCKIN' time they want/ go round the round-a-bout like a fucking dumbshitboss. People who go at 60km/h on the RIGHT side of the line/ not moving to the side even though the person behind is obvs super close to their backside/ being fucking ignorant about anyone else. People brake for no apparent reason at all/ when there is no cars in front of them/ when they brake just for fun/ fucking dumbshits/ when they brake on the RIGHT side of the road. These are the few that piss me off the most.

I'm not saying I'm the best driver ever. Heck. I'm not even saying I'm a good driver. But at least, I am a little more considerate of the other people who are driving around me/ I always signal/ I always move to the left when I see a fast car approaching from behind/ I only brake when I need to.

Another thing I HATE is the abundance of ROUND-A-BOUTS in brunei. Fuck, we are a small country. I swear we can win some kind of guiness world record for having the most number of roundabouts in a country. So annoying. Eurgh.

Ok.

x
Amelia.

Refreshing.

2011-08-03T16:36:00.000+01:00

It's been a year since my hair and my eyebrows have been the same colour. So much has happened within that year. It's amazing! I'm getting used to my dark hair again. It's funny, I've always had dark till a year ago but somehow it feels like I haven't seen myself in a long time. I like it. I'm quite sakai about it tbh haha must be pissing my parents out about it as well. Not that they are complaining. My dad loves the dark hair.

It's refreshing. I think I'll keep it for a while. :)

I've yet to try red hair! need to find a good dye for that. Hmm.

Amelia.

p/s yes, I've been neglecting the blog. I've been so busy. T^T hahahah ,soon soon soon!!!!! Also, got into Pottermore! My Pottermore name is MoonStoneRook82! hehehhe

Mummykins

2011-07-31T15:02:00.000+01:00

I LOVE MY MOMMA <3


	She also helped me cut my fringe! love hehe

AMELIA :)

Tumblr UNDERSTAND ME.

2011-07-30T15:41:00.000+01:00

Dear Boy,

I do not know who you are, or where or when we will meet, but I do hope it is soon. I pray that when we meet and fall in love, you will love me for me, and not hope for someone who is thinner or prettier. I hope you won’t compare me to girls who may have brighter smiles. I hope that you will make me laugh, take care of me if I get sick, and be trustworthy. I hope you will remember that I prefer daisies to roses, and that my favorite colour is red.

Please know that my eyes are brown, but changes with my mood. Please know that I might be too shy to kiss you first, but please don’t be afraid to kiss me. I won’t slap you or push you away. I’m sure your kisses will be perfect. When we go on a date, please don’t stress about where to take me; what’s important is that I’ll be with you. If I cry, please know it isn’t because of you, just hold me close and I’ll heal quickly. And, if it is because of you, I’ll heal just the same.

And if we decide to break up, please understand that I may be bitter, but I’d like to be your friend if you’ll let me. I promise to remember that you have feelings too, even though you’ll never admit it, and when you are ready we’ll have a friendship. Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, or if something just doesn’t sit right. I would like you to always be honest with me.

If I have a bad day, I hope you will shower me with confidence and smiles. I hope you don’t think that I’m asking too much of you. I hope you understand that I’m a little bit nervous and very scared. I wish I could tell you how or when we will meet, and if we will be in love forever.
Every relationship is a new game of cards, and …I’ve never been good at cards. But I will try my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much from you. Thank you for listening; this is all that I ask.

Yours always
Me

Got this off TUMBLR. Reblogged from a trainwreckofemotions. It is everything that I feel.

I love Tumblr. I love Tumblr. I LOVE TUMBLR.

xx
AMELIA.

Victim of your own mind.

2011-07-30T15:15:00.000+01:00

I haven't had much on my mind lately but time's been going by so terribly quick I can't believe it is August already which means I only have 1.5 months left in Brunei.

Doesn't matter really, I have done what I've wanted to do, seen the people I want to see.

I, however, have a list of things I will need to do come August.

a) I will need to lose another 5 - 7kgs more. MINIMUM 5kgs.
b) ........

Ok fine. Only thing I really have to do is lose another 5 kgs minimum. If I can stretch it and lose another 2 extra that would be fabulous but I'll be satisfied with another 5 gone.

I HOPE I KEEP THE GOATDARNED WEIGHT OFF IN THE UK!!!!!!!!!

It's so tiring and boring and zzz to try and lose weight and I don't want to do it again!!!!!!!!!

Watched Captain America today and Chris Evans is a Hottie Tottie.

xx
Amelia.

Why yes.

2011-07-28T10:05:00.000+01:00

I am terribly attractive.

Thank you very much.

AMELIA

HAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

p/s Due to my boredom, I will be finally blogging about my easter trip to Italy (MARCH/APRIL) LOL yup. Koolz

I just had to.

2011-07-26T12:07:00.002+01:00

Misconception Of Love Poems.

All my love poems are not for you,
don’t be mistaken.
I write because I have love inside of me,
but I don’t have an object pronoun.
I love. That is all. I love, and sometimes,
that love turns into the Moon Girl, sometimes,
it turns into the Spanish Man. And other times,
into a You. But it’s not You You, so don’t.
When you’re so full of love, you write,
because you have the love to give, but
you don’t know who. Yet.

Via Tumblr.

Amelia :)

I'm in need of your love.

2011-07-26T11:01:00.000+01:00

Hello Wello :)

Will do a picture heavy post cause I realised I haven't been updating on my blog/ bout the things I've been doing. Hurhur

#1. Daddy got me a new Macbook Pro 15" cause I'm a blind mofo. He's name is Tristan, and yes I'm using him now.

#2. Here's a picture of Belle, Tristan and Scampy all sitting nicely in a row.

#3. Here's Nuryul and Diana with my over-heated car by the roadside. LOL. We were on the way to ILotus for breakkie before Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2. So proud of us/ instead of panicking, like how my mom would. We stopped and chilled out the car/ poured lots of water and everything was ok again. :P

#4. Us at breakfast, which was yummy. :p

#5. Yep, bestie and I got matching shirts. Griffindor (because I am a fan of the Weasleys) and Slytherin for Becky cause she's a die-hard Malfoy supporter.

#6. One Sunday, we all decided to be spontaneous and went over to JP! We: Diana, Rebecca, Nuryul and I. It was AWESOME. We zorbed/ water zorbed/ bumper car-ed and ran around the playground like 5 year olds.

#7. Went to Nuryul's doa selamat where we had a lovely night, chatting, catching up some more, eating..

#8. Saying goodbye to Nuryul. :)

BABOON! IT WAS SO GOOD TO SEE YOU AND TO HANG OUT! Next year, we must do it again. :)

#9. Me and my loverlies.

This one is Melody. My princess *hearts*

And no reader of my blog is a stranger to Scamp my bb boy. *hearts*

Obvs, tons more pics la but blogger is being a real pain in the bum :(

Everything else has been going just fine :) Update on my weight loss thang. It's going slower than I hoped for but at least I'm doing something. Ever since removing my verucca from my foot, I've been unable to wear covered shoes therefore disabling me from doing any exercise. :(

So I started at 58.8 kgs, the last time I weighted (which was yesterday), I've managed to go down to 54.5kg. Which means I've managed to lose 4.3kgs! I'm still working at it. I have to lose 4.5 more kgs till my optimum weight! I CAN DO THIS! GAMBATE AMELIA (haha syiok sendiri).

Last week, Thursday, I had another one of my faints during lunch time. (so embarassing). Becky and Amilyn were there to witness my whole embarassing moment. It was bad though, made them all (including my parents) worried sick and was rushed to the Emergency unit at RIPAS. They put a drip on me etc. My whole body was numb?! Like, really really "suan". The doctor has no answer to why I fainted this time although everyone including me, thinks that it's probs cause of my lack of blood. T^T I hope to God, this won't happen again. The waiters had to carry me down a whole stack of stairs and what not. Argh. Thinking of it makes me cringe. T^T

I WANT TO ME HEALTHY DAMNIT. I'M ONLY 20 YEARS OLD. Why do I have a health system of like a 80 year old?!!!!! knn. hahahaha

OH and I edited my first video EVA as well!

Check it out. Haha, I'm so proud of myself. Took me about 4 hours on iMovie figuring how to work everything. I'm thinking of doing videos regularly. I've got an idea in my head. but we'll see.

Right now I'm down with a nasty sore throat and flu so I sound like a man.

Okay, END. This blog post feels like it's all over the place. MY APOLOGIES! hehe

AMELIA.

No appropriate title.

2011-07-23T10:31:00.000+01:00

Hi,

It's been nearly a year and I haven't brought you up in this blog much at all. How have you been? I hope you are well and happy and satisfied with your year abroad. I'm going to see you soon, and I've been wondering how it is going to be like. I hope it's not awkward, I hope it doesn't make me sad, I hope it goes well, and I hope I will be happy for you regardless of whatever happens-- (and by this I mean, if you've found someone else that makes you happy).

I've been okay, the part where you told me you didn't love me anymore, that was a good move really. I want to thank you for doing that. I am going to thank you somehow, without making it awkward. Breaking up with me was the right thing to do. It gave me courage to be myself again. I was falling apart, dying slowly and painfully inside when we were together, and you were gone. Now that I think about it, it was a wise move. You always knew what was good for me. I started becoming more social, made great friends and even found the courage to leave the hell hole I was in. Looking back, I am ashamed for how I acted. It was silly and immature. It must have been hard for you. That is why I didn't blame you at all for walking away. I'd have walk away from myself if I had seen what I was turning into.

If you were wondering, no, I've not found anyone yet. I'd like to think that I haven't found that somebody who could take your place/ be better than you. I've met guys who were sort of meh~, something just wasn't right. One of my housemates told me that I'm only worthy of an amazing guy, one that will blow my mind away. So I'm going to wait patiently, cause I know he'll come one day, until then though, you are always on my mind. Not 24/7 anymore, thankfully. Just times, when I hear a certain song, or when I watch a movie with someone.. I'm okay, I'm good. I've come to terms with so many things.

In this past year, I've changed and I'll like to think it's for the better. I'm a lot more independent. I cry a lot less and I am able to cook! I think if you still cared, you would have been proud. Unfortunately, I've gone back to my old ways about my weight. This summer has been exceptionally hard on me regarding my weight. So, I've gone back to caring about my weight, and trying to lose some in the process. I also haven't been the healthiest, regardless of eating well this year. So far this year, I've fainted 3 times and not for the same reasons either. It's good, you're not my boyfriend anymore. You don't have to worry about me. You won't have to worry about me anymore since I'm not your problem anymore. And I don't mean this in a spiteful way.

All in all, I just want to thank you for the break up. It's made me into a much better woman, if I may. I'm looking forward to see you, and I hope we stay as friends. You're one hell of a guy, and it'd be great to have you as a friend.

Lots of love always,
Amelia.

The Deathly Hallows.

2011-07-16T15:02:00.000+01:00

Bestie and I in matching Harry Potter shirts. Griffindor because of my love for Ron Weasley and Slytherin because the bestie loves Draco Malfoy. (lucky her, I wish my shirt said Weasley instead of Potter :P)

So, 10 years ago, we started the amazing journey of the Harry Potter films and 10 years have past and the final installment of the most amazing epic saga has finally ended (to my disappointment). I've been with Harry since I was in Primary 4/5 (Around, 9 years old?) and I'm now 20.. I am so glad that I've had the opportunity to have Harry Potter as part of my childhood. In my generation.

Anyways, yesterday, went to watch a 1.00pm screening of The Deathly Hallows Part 2 with a whole bunch of people, after having a really satisfying and enjoyable brunch at I-Lotus (nomz). I must say, I wasn't dissapointed with the film. Like, in the past years, you can read in my old posts, I would be typing in rage just about now, about how incorrect the film was, how it didn't follow the books etc etc Plus, this movie was only 2hrs and 10 minutes long! Making it the shortest Harry Potter film ever.

I had two things that they had to get right in this film:
1) Telling Snape's story correctly.
2) The chapter between Harry Potter and Dumbledore at King's Cross.

Fortunately enough, the film managed to capture the essence of both and didn't leave out my favourite lines. So, I am content. Some parts of the movie (i.e both scenes above, when the showed Fred, Lupin, and Tonk's death (imo, they deserved to have a more honourable death instead of just having them lying found dead), I sobbed whenever I saw Hogwarts being attacked.. Ack, I was so friggin' emotional, finished half a pack of tissues and walked out of the cinema with the puffiest eyes everrrr.

As I've grown older, I've come to the understanding that sometimes they have to do the film a little differently to let the audience understand better with ease. So, I'm going to let it go. I actually said out loud,"What." When Harry jumps out of the crowd when Snape was asking everyone about Harry Potter and etc. I was like WTF hahahahah wasn't expecting that.

Overall, I'd say the film did some justice to the book and I'm thankful for that :) To be able to put my favourite fantasy book into motion picture, God knows how much I've spent imagining how scenes from the books are in real life and it's nice to watch it on the big screen.

This is not the end, like JK Rowling said, "So whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.”

Always.

xx
Amelia.

Super Bass

2011-07-10T16:29:00.000+01:00

So in love with Nicki Minaj's Super Bass. SUCH A GOOD SONG. OMG

I wanna be Nicki Minaj.

Apart from that, I've been busy, Harry P in 4 days, Chloe left yesterday..

ya that's a blood spot on my NOSE HAHAHAHA from picking a spot. LOL I AM SUCH A LOSER WTF

Why yes, I am feeling extremely vain atm. Excuse me ;)

xx
Amelia.

Nostalgia.

2011-07-07T13:46:00.001+01:00

You think it's easy for me? To be saying no to all these wonderful food? To be denying myself the rights to all those kolo mee, ABCs, Cucurs, popcorn, ice-cream... It's not. It's horrible. I'm hungry and tired and faint and I just want to gorge on fried chicken and fried mee hoon and yam fritters and drink teh'c ping all day long, no, not kurang manis even. I just want to eat and eat and eat and eat. OMG you have no idea how difficult it is to be me right now. Okay, not the worst. But it's difficult enough. The weight isn't coming off easy at all, I've been so proper with what I've been eating. Mind you-- I eat all 3 meals a day. I never skip a meal. What I do is have like tiny shitty portions that don't do nothing to fill you up. I drink so much water.. ice lemon tea KOSONG...... it really does suck.

So don't give me attitude when I tell I can't join you on a specific meal, or whatever okay because TRUST ME I don't want to say no either. I have to, in order to lose the fucking weight.

ARGH.

Amelia.

p/s You can do it. Only 6 more fucking kilos to go. :)

Late at night.

2011-07-04T16:30:00.001+01:00

I think I'm getting better. I think I tell myself I'm getting better.

And then I get people who tell me shit that I hate about myself.

Then everything just doesn't make sense anymore.

Does that mean I am a bad person, through and through?

Should I just stop lying to myself?

I sincerely hope that heaven and hell doesn't exist. I sort of just want to die now just so I can find out. I hope when I die, I find peace and quietness. I just want to lay and not be bothered or be bothering anyone. I feel like being on this earth, it's not easy y'know. So much shit is done on this earth. I don't understand how it should be used to determine if one goes to heaven or to hell ???! Do you get me?????

Excuse my rambling. It's just I've got 2 people who's told me this year how horrible I am as a person.

2 people! That's more than 1. How many people have told you that you're a horrid human being?

M@#R@*#R@&^#T#T@(*&^@*(#$%UI$@%^!@!*@7 I feel so bad for people who have had the unfortunate luck of meeting me. Maybe the next time somebody meets me/ I hope they run me down with a car or something. (Also please properly run me down dead/ don't want to end up like paralyzed or some shit)

Make the world a better place.

I should start a label called self-loathing.

FTS

I am small.

2011-06-29T15:10:00.000+01:00

"Falling buildings matter less than you noticing me. Because the world is big. And here, next to you, I am small." I wrote this for you.me

This perfectly describes how I am feeling right now.

I know you don't know, and I don't want you to know. I don't want to know what could happen. I think I'll leave it as it is. You are an amazing lovely smart funny endearing guy and I don't even know you that well. I'd love the privilege to though, to know you better. But, I shan't risk it. I can't afford to fall any deeper than I sort of already have.

You deserve the smartest, loveliest, funniest girl and I am unfortunately none of them. You deserve the best.

xx

Skinny Love

2011-06-28T14:40:00.000+01:00

It was just a matter of time before I used that as my title. Such a good song by Bon Iver. Please listen to is. Clara C does a really good cover on youtube as well. :)

Hello Wello, I wanna update with pictures to make it colourful and all that jazz but unfortunately the internet router is a little wonky and none of the laptops in the house will detect the internet soooo it's quite sad for me really.

Good news, /Updates on my weight loss thang. At the moment standing at 56.5kgs! (^_^) Yes, I am happy about the weight going down although at the rate I am eating atm, I'm not surprised if I gained some also. But from 58.8kgs, I'm lost about 2kgs! So I'm happy. Hoping for a kilo a week. Only 6.5 more kgs to lose before hitting my ideal weight!

Anyways, haven't done much .Been spending a good amount of time with LoMl, Chloe because that girl is leaving next week and I won't be seeing her for another year :( :( :( Hate how fast time passes by now. Really sucks balls.

OKAY hate typing on the desktop computer and the screen is too far from my face so I can't even see the screen. zzz Also, I'm totes allergic to my glasses here in the horrible weather. Keep getting rashes in between my eyes cause of the heat and sweat stuck between my glasses and my skin. ZZZZ so I have to wear contacts all the time. SIEN

/I told you to be patient and I told you to be kind./

I hope the internet problem solves it self in due time.

xx
Amelia.

Never, not in a million years.

2011-06-26T13:07:00.000+01:00

I haven't got anything in my head to type down. Like, I do, I guess but nothing substantial. I have tons of random thoughts squirming and swimming around but that's about it. Little fragments of rubbish just stuck there. Don't know where to go, don't know what to do.

Here are snippets of what's going through my head.

1) Why are you such an asshole?
2) I am excited to see you.
3) I should stop being a lazy bum and start on it soon. I've only got 4 days anyway.
4) Why are you not replying me fools?
5) I need a haircut.
6) I need to dye my hair again.
7) Why am I not losing weight quickly enough?! ffffuuuuuuu
8) I need to drink more water.
9) I need to sleep more.
10) I am sick of the world.

xx

Can't make you love me.

2011-06-21T16:01:00.001+01:00

"You're going to leave me, aren't you? You've had enough of me, haven't you? You're probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and I've got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of it's own, like I just get hysterical, like it's something I can't control at all. And I don't know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you don't know what to do either. And I'm sure you're going to leave me now." Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel

So relevant to me one year ago. I'm glad to say, I do not relate to this at the moment. What a relief. I really like how it's written though, so raw. I wish I had the power in me to write. To write beautifully. To make people want to quote me.. How I wish.

I have started my weight-loss program, like a serious one cause the doctor said it's much needed. I've got too much blood in me, too much iron and a high amount of LDL cholesterol level. I've got the body of a very well fed 40 year old. HAHA! But serious note, the doctor told me to reduce tons of things, I actually have a list of food I shouldn't be eating anymore from the doctor. mmm..

My mom says, it doesn't matter if I was fat and healthy. The fact that I'm fat and UNhealthy is what bothers her so I'm on a diet, exercise regime (sorta). It seems that when I was skinnier (+/- 10kgs lighter) I was healthier. Soooooo that's the plan. To lose all the weight off. So I came back to Brunei weighing 58.8kgs. Today I weight 57.5kgs. So far so good. Hoping for a loss of at least 1kg every week. Shouldn't be too difficult now.. right? Last year, during my 3 month break, I manged to lose 5 kgs (I was also 58kgs when I got back).. so... hopefully things go as planned! Need to start being healthy some more!!!

Watching a documentary based in HK about stray dogs. There's a program where they are trying to bring in all the stray dogs for check ups and to be spayed and cleaned up and fed and looked after and put up for adoption. I have so much respect for people who does these kind of things, gives me hope for humanity. Really.

I LOVE DOGGIES!!!!

xx
Amelia.

Enchanted.

2011-06-20T16:40:00.000+01:00

Just a quick post with some pictures of my face.

I HAVE A TRIPLE EYELID! how weird. zz

xx
Amelia

Grab Somebody

2011-06-18T14:41:00.000+01:00

I want to exist in the www. Like, properly exist, somebody everybody will know. I am so tired of the real world. It's so boring. Same things happen all the time. Nothing, great.

I want to be a fiction of imagination in everybody's mind. I want them to imagine me doing great things, doing good things, doing things that I can never really do in real life.

But, alas, those are just wishes. What I really am is here, alive in this world. Born into this world. Don't know what I'm supposed to do yet, these 20 years hasn't been that exciting. I don't really know what I'm expecting out of this life. I keep thinking something great will happen, but meh. Don't think it'll be happening. Not now, not ever. Such a mundane thing, life.

Other matters aside, I went to the doctors. He told me that I have low blood pressure and to combat that, I should do more exercise (to build up my heart) and have more salt. Also, he told me that I have put on too much weight and I should lose it and then when he was going to take my blood for the blood test, he told me again, that I really really needed to lose weight because I've gotten so fat he can't even see the vein. Too much meat, too much steak, he says.

I don't understand. Have I gotten that fat really? In my eyes, in my mirror, I see a healthy, decent weight girl. Definitely not skinny or slim, but healthy. Not obese, not even overweight but everyone around me seems to think differently. Somebody, help me out. It's driving me crazy. Why am I not seeing myself, as everyone is seeing me? When I was skinny, I used to see myself as a fat pig and I needed to lose more. But now, when I'm apparently fat, I see myself as a normal girl. I think I am going crazy.

I have decided to cut down all my portions to a silly tiny amount. Drown myself in water. We'll see how that works. I don't want to do this. All these years, I've fought against going back to my old ways. But seeing as how my old ways made everyone around me happy, I guess everyone elses happiness always trumps mine.

I am a disgusting cow.

Today, I am angry at the world. (Who's surprised?)

Amelia.

Do you mean it?

2011-06-17T15:05:00.000+01:00

I do, when I say I am freaking out about my exam results. I don't want to have to go back in August to do some re-sits. I don't want to leave Brunei early and go back to the Deen where I will be homeless. I don't want to tell my parents I need to fly back early especially since I've bought my return tickets already ..

And I studied harder this year than I did last year!!! I actually stressed my head out studying this time round. I really hope that yields some results. Argh T^T

Also, did my first shahbandar trip since coming home with Angel. Totally black-outed on the 5th hill. Like properly fainted. It was embarassing. Had to lie on dirt. (gross) -_-" Going to the doctors tomorrow. Probably low blood pressure or something silly like that. Not the first time either.

BODY Y SO YOUNG Y SO MANY PROBLEMZ? BODY Y U NO COPERATE W/ WEIGHTLOSS PLANZ??????

zzzz
Amelia

Love Sucks.

2011-06-16T10:43:00.000+01:00

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life.. You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside side. It eats you our and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should just be friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love." - Neil Gaiman.

xx
Amelia.

High time

2011-06-15T14:41:00.000+01:00

Yep, high time to type out a blog post! I don't know why I am sooososososooo lazy. As some of you might have guessed from my tweets, I am back home in the comfort of my own home with my mom and dad in the room next to mine, with my dogs ... Ah, it's been good. No, I have not seen anyone else yet regardless of being home for the past 3 days. *blush* feeling a tad bit anti-social and really can't be bothered to do jack. Just want to relax and basically chill the fuck out. (^_^)

Had a little drama with my luggage as one didn't come through till yesterday. Apparently the luggage tags fell off so nobody knew what to do with a sad lonely red bag. Luckily, they sent the right one over. I was freaking out so much cause I had so much to bring home. So now I'm better. Hehe.

Also, been really annoyed with my weight. It's so ridiculous, back in the UK I'm completely happy and content with my weight. The minute I'm back, I feel like a complete whale. It's disgusting the way everybody wants to be skinny here, how skinny is the only way to look good here. It's repulsive. Can't one be beautiful even in a body that isn't all skin and bones? I wish the people in Asia would open their eyes and mind a little. It's so narrow minded. Pisses me off. Since I've gotten back, (and keeping in mind I haven't met up with much people), I've gotten remarks saying that they don't recognize me cause I'm FAT and there's people telling me my hips are HUGE. Right. Ok. Cool. Doesn't matter that I'm completely happy with how I am huh? Fuck. Fuck the fact that I need to conform to society because I can't stand people criticizing me. So I guess these 3 months I will spend trying to lose weight again. Whoopifuckingdee. I mean I was already going to lose weight because of some personal reasons *ahem* but for the people around me? hah. I'm horrible. I'm disgusting. I'm repulsive. Cause I care about what people have to say about me. Amelia, you are a truly lousy shitty cow. Whaddup with the self-confidence yo? Coming back to Brunei totally destroyed me there in that area. Truly. Just 3 days as well. AMAZING. *applause* for Brunei.

Also, a little late but I've caught the Bieber Fever (I mean I've always like Justin Biebs) but I downloaded his album etc and caught his NEVER SAY NEVER movie on the airplane. Totally moved me to tears. He's a hard little worker man. Like, he works hard for what he gets and I think that's truly.. respectful. I mean, he's still a kid yea (2 yrs younger than me but whatevs), and he's done so much. Amazing. Doesn't help that he's a total cutie pie as well. hehe *blush*

What else. Been reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows again. I'm gonna read this one once, then books 1 - 6 again and then read the 7th book again so I'm all ready for the movie July 15th! never to early. *beams* I've missed my Harry P books so friggin much! I killed myself laughing at some of the things in the book! I am such a geek 8) hurhur

Chloe on skype so byeeee bitches

xxxx

Love you,

2011-06-02T17:10:00.000+01:00

Talked to my mom:

"It was a really bad paper, I couldn't answer so many things, I'm so scared now......."

"It's okay, it's over now. It doesn't matter now."

"What?! what do you mean it doesn't matter?! EXAM PAPER!"

My mom is growing up. Sigh *tears* :')

I can't wait to go home! 1.5 weeks more, 1 more evil accounting paper and London and Manchester and packing up my life in this house and boomz, home sweet home here I come.

xx
Amelia.

And you're happy now.

2011-05-30T13:37:00.000+01:00

Things I wish for this summer since last summer I spent most of my time crying and wishing I was dead (really, really badly):

Lose weight-- obviously cause I'm a whale hello? And I wanna start my 3rd year looking good lol. So this means: Shahbandaring and cutting back on portions!
Not fight with my parents at all. -- Might not be seeing them again in December cause I've got plans to go on a road-trip in Deutschland so it'll be the whole September - June again without coming home. Gotta cherish the time I can have with them yo!
Not get into any car accidents-- I've actually felt like I've forgotten how to drive?! Haha, quite scary actually. I keep seeing myself parking a car but it just doesn't make any sense (-_-)
Be happy. -- self-explanatory. Just to be happy and take things as it comes and goes. Should always be in smiles and etc.
To be more social -- this will be different because I've never been the kind who was social but this year, I've learned to be a little more social. Ummmmm yeah. Need to stop avoiding people lol.
WATCH HARRY POTTER N BE SUPER ENTHU -- another self explanatory thang. Hee hee hee
Spend more time outside of my room/be active!!!!!! -- go to the beach, bring my dogs out, visit people, etcetcetc...
.... cook for the family and friends! :D HEHE

About it really lol. Last summer was really shit for me. So much drama and tears and deadly thoughts. Horrible summer. But this year, 2011, summer will be good. I can feel it. I'm already a different person. Sooooooo let's hope for the best.

Meanwhile, Business Law, Management Accounting and Financial Accounting. Bring it on then I'm done with my 2nd year. BOOOOOYAH!

xx
AMELIA :)

Weird behaviours..

2011-05-29T14:36:00.000+01:00

Okay, one thing that I have realised about myself in this 20 years of living in this world. I am weird. In a lot of ways. There are a bunch of things that I do, that will only sorta make sense to me (and I am sure, to a few other individuals in the world). For example, I have a habit of using only one cup in the house. One specific cup, I won't use any other cup, and I will freak out if I see someone using my cup. For me, my cup is that huge pink one with Marie (the disney character/cat) as seen in the picture in the posts below.... but yeah. That's one of my weird habits. It's the same as seating arrangements. I like sitting in one particular seat, so at every dinner meeting etc I will sit where I sit. So I always end up putting my phone (something that belongs to me) on that seat prior to the table being set. SORRY I LIKE A LITTLE ROUTINE IN MY LIFE. lol

But one thing that is horrible is me and my obsession with ONE particular type of food. Last summer, when I went home, I was obsessed with Wa Tan Ho. I'm not joking. For the 3 months I was home, at least 2 months, was spent eating wa tan ho 3 times a day. With roast pork, with seafood, kosong.. whatever. As long as it was wa tan ho. I was content. My mom grew sick of wa tan ho really. And I eventually did too. But I do things like that. It's weird haha. At the moment it is marmite and butter on toast. I am obsessed with marmite at the moment. I can even eat it out of the jar. lol.

I think you should try some marmite today (if you haven't/ if you didn't like it the first time round -- you probably ate it wrongly!!!). Have it on toast with a fruitful amount of butter and just a light spread of marmite. You will (hopefully) love it! :D or stir it in some plain rice porridge, even better! lol.

Ah marmite my love, I can only eat you for the next two weeks at most. Cause confirm, i won't be having much of you back in brunei :(

xx
AMELIA.

Unpretty.

2011-05-27T23:28:00.000+01:00

I am feeling the most unattractive I have ever felt. That is a lie of course, cause I felt unattractive when I was 46kgs and I still thought I wasn't thin enough cause being fat was unattractive, but this time it's different. I don't know if it's cause I'm 60kgs, or my fringe isn't parting the way I want it to be, or that my hair re-growth is appalling, or my eyebrows are wonky. I don't know if it's because I am lazy, or I am feeling slightly alone, or I am really annoyed about the world (as always).

I'd like to be beautiful, or to even appear to be beautiful. I want people to call me beautiful, to look at my pictures and gasp in awe, I want to be envied about. I want people to look at me, wishing they could look like me, to be like me.

It is very vain of me to exclaim so, but this is how I am feeling.

I need to do re-dye my hair, I need to get my eyebrows done, I need to lose weight, I need to stop frowning and start smiling even more. I need to learn to be beautiful.

xx
Amelia.

I'd like to stay.

2011-05-27T15:42:00.000+01:00

I love the colour on my nails at the moment! And I know, you can't see it so clearly but the colour is called, Big Smoke (004) by Topshop . I have to say though, Topshop does wonderful nail polishes! I love it! It's thick enough to just use one layer of polish and it stays on for quite a bit of time as well. (And, I'm doing all sorts with my hands: Cleaning the floor, washing the dishes, peeling potatoes etc and the polish stays on nevertheless!)

I have a huge corn on my left foot at the moment. (defn: A corn is a small area of skin which has become thickened due to pressure on it. A corn is roughly round in shape. Corns press into the deeper layers of skin and can be painful.) To be fair, I've had it ever since I was in Italy, so that's a good two months-ish and serve me right for being a lazy cow and not wanting to go to the doctors cause now, it's bad. It's twice the size (about a size of a 2 pound coin~~ or 1 pound lol) and it hurts so blinkin' much :'( Like, I can't have it touch anything or I'll be whitering in pain. It's a trauma really. I've got an appt in two weeks finally, and I've got some medicated patches on at the moment (it didn't work before but I'm willing to try anything at this point), so we'll see how that goes.

Apart from that, exams have been a real terror. I've got 3 next week. On the 1st, 2nd and 3rd respectively. How fun? Will have to do some hardcore revising this weekend and beginning of next week.

We've been having so much good food at home. I am actually afraid of seeing people when I return to Brunei mainly cause I am a cow right now. So maybe, I won't see anyone and just stick at home and munch on celery sticks and go shahbandaring. lol

Probably not happening cause I want to have kolo mee as soon as I arrive back home :p

Ah Amelia, life is tough huh? :P

xx
Amelia.

Dressed like a procrastinator.

2011-05-25T00:39:00.000+01:00

Okay, there is always a golden voice in every head of a procrastinator.

"You've got time."
"Chillout. Why are you rushing, there's always tomorrow/there's always tonight/ there's always coffee and the whole morning..."
"You could be doing something else. Like, cooking and eating, tumblr-ing, BLOGGING, looking at old photos, thinking about people who you shouldn't be giving two cents about."
"You've got time."

Well, fuck you golden voice. Cause I don't have time. I have < 48 hours till my paper and the subject is ridiculous (personal finance) and whatever I try, I'm just not absorbing anything. Nothing. Makes. Sense.

But of course, I still have time to blog cause hey! Once a procrastinator, always a procrastinator.

I'm out.

xx
Amelia.

Do you really wanna know what's next?

2011-05-24T01:03:00.001+01:00

Just because I can and I was playing with make-up with Yuka this afternoon. I don't think make-up does anything for my face. Still look the same as always, I think. Or do you think different?

I do know I have to do something about my eyebrows. They are a nightmare. FML lol

Also trying to grow out my fringe-- and it's not working well. Argh, what to do about my fringe?! Suggestions?!!!! I don't wanna cut it again. Wanna keep it long for the mean time. But it's sooo annoying! Grr.

And finished one paper today. 4 more to go! It wasn't too bad :) I'm feeling pretty good abt this one but the next one? (On thursday?) Yeah, pretty much screwed up for it. zzz

mwah.

Amelia

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Look at me now.

2011-05-22T21:14:00.000+01:00

OKAY SERIOUSLY AMELIA. I'm so tired of me saying shit and not doing anything anyway. What kind of person am I? (Yeah, I know a procrastinator who talks too much shit) lol .

but I really wanna dress well. And since I'm like actually obese at the moment (according to the BMI calculator, and Allisan will vouch for me) I can't actually wear anything nice cause I need to buy new clothes. But Brunei. The hot weather, the healthy food. My MOM. Yup, I'll be losing weight back home. Hiking, half portion food, no sugar, no fast food. BOOMZ I will come back more slender and I WANNA DRESS WELL T^T. I will have a proper wardrobe (I am living out of a suitcase (or two) i am not kidding) where my clothes will be colour coordinated and I can find everything and I WILL WEAR MY CLOTHES! Instead of just rotating around a few that is always on the surface of my luggage cause it's easy to just pick it up to wear instead of actually putting thought into my outfits.

Yup rambling. Cause this is what I do when I have to study for impending exams.

but that's just it. I want to dress up! omg even in winter. Even if I'm gonna be covered under a million layers of jackets. I WANT TO WEAR MY CLOTHES! Gah. So much and I wear so few.

Ok. Brunei will be a good weight loss place. I've done it before many times and I will do it again . !!!!!!!!

BTW Chris Brown ft Busta Rhymes ft Lil'Wayne - Look at me now. IS UH-MA-ZING! I wanna memorise the whole blinkin' song so I can sing along to it while I'm driving. So far, I can do the first Chris Brown's part-- just till the first chorus. I WANNA RAP FAST OMG.

ok. enough.

mwah
AMELIA

Failure.

2011-05-22T14:43:00.001+01:00

What is this? You ask. This is a picture of failure. I am not one who cares much for failure. Didn't do well for exams? Meh~ Didn't pass my driving theory test the first time round? Meh~ But this. This, failed 'swiss roll' really stabbed me in the heart. I'm so disappointed with myself. What did I do wrong? I didn't use a tray big enough, my cream wasn't right, too much jam ... Argh.

I will keep trying till I get it right. I wanna make it for my mom who I know loves swiss rolls. I won't try again today because I should be revising for my exams. But, next week, next next week. I will try it again. Maybe a different recipe. Maybe instead of fresh cream, I'll make it with buttercream. Maybe I'll buy a bigger pan. Damnit. I will buy a bigger pan. Even if I only have £30 for this two weeks to survive. I do not like this feeling right now.

But at the mean time, I can't do anything. I will drink my tea and read my papers. After all, I'm not going for a swiss roll competition tomorrow.

xx
Amelia.

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Born this way.

2011-05-20T23:43:00.000+01:00

In the midst of studying and jotting notes down for exams. I've got 2 weeks to be a free bird. This time next 2 weeks, I'll be on my way to London.

You can do it Amelia, because after wards you'll be free and happy. But at the mean time, struggle a little, suffer a bit. It'll be worth it.

On other unrelated news, I've started a new food blog with the amazing Kristy Wong!

CLICK ME FOR FOODY GOODNESS!

At the moment it's not too much, but i will post up recipes, reviews etc etc :D So give it a chance!

xx
AMELIA

Lacking.

2011-05-14T15:39:00.000+01:00

"Lacking in everything but body fats and complaints." (LOVE THIS QUOTE AT THE MO, SO TRUE! lol)

Anyway, hello, and good day :)

Numbered my pictures for easy commentary.

1. Celebrating Sinda's birthday. I made the raspberry white chocolate cheesecake for her which was a success! :D
2. Went out the same night for some dubstep. It's was quiet, as in not too many people turned up but it was still a good night never the less. Walked home in a heavy downpour. That's me and Hazal who's leaving Aberdeen for good back to Turkey on Tuesday so we're having a goodbye party for her on Sunday.
3. Tried out indoor climbing which completely failed cause we went in a big group and because it was the weekend, they didn't allow so many beginners to be there at one time. Managed to wear the full gear and tried climbing up once (and reached the top!) but got SO freaked out at coming down, was literally shaking and my heart rate increased like three times! But it was quite fun, and definitely adrenaline triggering.
4. Getting ready to head out for Dinner with Alice, Scott and Becca. :) it was good, some spanish food and starbucks... with talks about everything and nothing under the roof.
5. My lappy and phone on my cuppycake tray holder and my raybans. Loves it. Love my duvet too, soooo comfy. Major love. Especialy on a cold day, all snuggled under my duvet with music streaming from my pig. Super love.

I'm going to concentrate on consolidating accounts today cause it's 40% of my financial accounting paper and god knows I need so much help on that part. Gah. Why are things so complicated to understand? zz Hate exams. Hate it to the very core.

Made mushroom soup yesterday and it's my second time making it. The first time I've ever made it, it was too salty. Still good, but definitely too salty. This second time though, it was nearly perfect if I must say so myself. Could be more fine, should have liquidised it a little more but apart from that. I think it was good enough :p I also made some baked rice with chicken and vegetables and it was decent. hehe :)

I love cooking! I do, it's therapeutic and it makes me happy, calms my mind. I wish I could just cook all the time. Really.

xx
Amelia.

p/s Kid Cudi ft Kanye West & Common - Make Her Say. is currently my fav. song. So catchy! :)

What good would living do me?

2011-05-11T17:33:00.000+01:00

I don't know why I do this to myself? I reminisce too much, I can't get people out of my head. Good times, bad times, they're all the same. Good times make me feel sad cause I miss them and bad times makes me feel sad cause I can't believe it happened. I need to stop thinking so much and focus on the present. Forget the past, there is a reason it past. So much on my mind and it doesn't help, reading my old tumblr post, from one boy to another, they all have their own sections. It's nice to read them again and remember how I felt back then but it's sad to know that I was so in love back then, and it didn't last. I was happy, and so full of love and they never lasted. Everything happens for a reason, I know that. I know I'm young, I'm only 20 with so much ahead but I just want to find that someone who will appreciate my love, someone I can type about and when I re-read what I typed 20 years from now I can smile knowing it's about the same guy I'm with. I just want to be with someone I love and who loves me back, through my bad days, my good days, my crazy days, my hungry days. I want to be with a guy who won't make me question my feelings, question my actions. I want to be me when I'm with him and be happy being me. I know he's out there somewhere and I am looking forward to meeting him. To love and be loved in return, has got to be one of the nicest feeling in the world, I'm sure.

xx
Amelia.

p/s Yes, super emo, excuse me. Best friend just round the corner. DAMN HORMONES T^T

If you try sometimes.

2011-05-11T16:15:00.000+01:00

Oh hai! :) How is everyone? I'm still good, still as happy as I can be. I can't wait to be back in Brunei. One month today and I'm on the plane on my journey back home! I can't wait to see my parents, scamp and melody, everyone ... I can't wait to have some kolo mee, some economy rice, ice lemon tea, to drive and to go to shahbandar. I can't wait to wake up on my own bed, to wake up to the sound of Scamp's bell ringing, can't wait to go out for proper breakfasts that consist of proper noodles and yummy dimsum. I just can't wait.

But first, I have exams to conquer and then London and Manchester and then lastly, packing up my room to leave. It'll be sad but it's some thing that has to be done.

xx
AMELIA

But I found out

2011-05-06T12:12:00.001+01:00

(Yesterday/ 050511)
Yeah, still having fun. Today I am just tired from not getting all my sleep last night. Tossing, turning, bad dreams. So tiring. Tomorrow, Sinda's birthday so there's another party going on. Gonna be baking another cake! Had a go at a rainbow cake for Katha's birthday;

And my first time too! Was so nervous when Katha began cutting the cake cause I didn't know how it was gonna turn out. So lucky :p I wish we had better food colouring and that the colours could have come out a little more nicer, a little more vibrant.. This whole cake took about 4 hours to make -- so worth it though.

(Today -- 060511)
This afternoon Imma be trying to make my first cheesecake! White chocolate Raspberry cheesecake! :D excited.

Yesterday was absolutely lovely! Spent the day out and about in Uni and at night, a whole bunch of us went out to the Brazillian BBQ place, pricey but totally worth it. And about 3-4 hours just sitting down eating and talking and laughing. Really, the simple pleasures of life *heart*

Today, Ignacio will be cooking dinner and yay! Out tonight to watch a beatbox competition?! Don't know if that's what it is even :p but whatevs, good times good times people.

I would say this part of my life at the moment is perfect :) Happy most days.. it's great! Oooh also, only woke up at 11.45am today! Amazing or whut! had a wacky absurd dream but nothing bad and didn't see faces I didn't want to... Hehe :)

xx
AMELIA.

Smile pretty for me.

2011-05-02T15:15:00.000+01:00

I'll talk about manners. I may be a bitch, I may be a crybaby, I may be a horrible person but I know what I'm not. I'm not a person without manners. I have manners and I use them. I was brought up with manners. To learn to say thank you and please, hello and how do you do. I don't understand how, in this time of age that there are still people who have no manners whatsoever. Who do we blame? The kid or their parents? It's all over, in books, in movies etc and yet, these people can't learn manners. You grow up with manners, and even if you didn't pick it up as a child, growing in the world will. I guess, it does depend if they are willing to use their manners or not .... It is amazing. I think out of the many countless things that I dislike, I really cannot stand people without manners. Like, I-wanna-bash-your-head-and-shoot-you-twice-in-your-eye kind of cannot stand. Grr.

Annoying matters aside, this weekend has proved to be an amazing expensive and fattening one. I am at the moment, so very low on funds and very high on weight. In other words, I'm broke and fat. It's great!

I have gotten a little bit better at socialising me thinks. Don't know if it's good or bad. I've got exams in 3 weeks! and I've not revised at all. Screwed or not?

Get your game together Amelia, stop having too much fun!

xx
Amelia.

Be happy.

2011-04-30T12:31:00.001+01:00

"I was, but then I realized that I was holding onto something that didn't exist anymore. That the person I missed didn't exist anymore. People change. The things we like and dislike change. And we wish they wouldn't all day long, but that never works."

Hello, haven't blogged for long enough. Didn't even get to blog on my birthday, well world, I am now a 20 year old, still a little unsatisfied with life and still trying to figure what I want to be in this world but so far so good, I've had a good turning 20 day and a good start to my 20 yr old life.

My birthday this year has been amazing. Right from the very start (12am) till the end of the day (12am), I was in the company of people that I truly love and regardless of not being completely prepared I had an amazing time. I have magnificent friends and I am so thankful for all of them :)

And a small party for the day after, also filled with so much fun :) I just had a really good time turning 20 and I'm so so so happy about it. I don't have any more to say about it really, just grateful, happy and :) hehe

Wishes for my 20 yr old self.
- Develop my character and lose the temper. Or learn to control my temper lar.
- Just basically try and be more mature.
- Be more sociable
- Lose weight so that by the time I'm 21, I'll have a good figure !! :)
- Get through this year with as little sorrow as I can possibly can.
- Not have a boyfriend, and if I do, make sure he's worth it and he's worth my time.

Basically.

Lots of love to everyone who bothered to wish me/presents/phonecalls/ hugs/ kisses/ messages and everything.

!!!

x
AMELIA

Blackbirds singing in the dead of night

2011-04-18T18:18:00.002+01:00

Take these broken wings and learn to fly.
All your life, you were always waiting for this moment to arise.

Take these sunken eyes and learn to see.
All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to be free.

I've been introduced to this song not very long ago, don't know why I never bothered looking up the lyrics. So little but so good.

Anyways, I'm back! Yup, a whole week too late but I'm back in Aberdeen, in Uni, on this blog. It's been a good 3 weeks up and about. Learnt so much, had such a good time, ate so much good food, got so much sunshine... Ahh... I'd love to talk about Italy and everything but it'll take too long and I'm not in the position for too much typing and photo uploading and stuff so forgive me. I'll do it eventually. Hah! Once a procrastinator, forever a procrastinator.

I'd like to mention how important body language is.

Just that. And I don't think you have any right to judge me especially since you don't even know my name. And I don't like the look of your face when you are trying to peek into my room.

I have a whole trunkful overfilled with clothes, unpacked luggage, and a floor that needs vacuuming. Oh, and bed sheets in baby pink and blue with a baby pink bunny on it. I'm proud of my room. It's comfy and it's me.

Pfft.

x,
AMELIA.

What's my name.

2011-03-27T15:44:00.000+01:00

Okay, last post for the next two weeks and a half! :D Going off to Italy tomorrow and I am beyond STOKED! I can't wait to just get out and onto the bus and into the train and into the airport and into the plane!!!!!!! BOOM SHAKALAKA

Hopefully everyone has a great easter break :) I'm hoping to come back bearing tons of lovely pictures and good stories to tell. Wish me luck everyone!

BISOUS xx
Amelia

I love

2011-03-25T20:06:00.002Z


New favourite self portrait atm! :D

I love, the smell of fresh laundry. I love, the smell of my hair after a nice hot shower. I love, cuddling and waking up cuddled, all warm and lovely. I love, good food. I love, food in general. I love, getting texts and being remembered. I love, long lazy days, snuggling in bed with a cozy duvet and sufficient tea. I love, finishing something and feeling accomplished. I love, being needed. I love, birthdays. I love, good music. I love, good long one-on-one talks. I love, laughing.

Ah! such a good day today! exactly what I needed. Spent the morning sleeping, and the afternoon sleeping. Completely caught up on my sleep debt so that's good. Diana came by bearing yummy food for lunch, mac&cheese is always satisfying. So is talking for a bit laughing and ahhh :) She's going home soon (sunday) and I am too jealous! I'd love to be going home too but meh, can't have everything in life (which sucks.)

I need to seriously sit my bum down and pack for Italy. Maybe Sunday, even though I'm leaving on Monday. I've been soooo lazy to pack! I don't want to think about what I can bring to wear :( So much to pack and to think about. But I shall do that ASAP on sunday!

I'm the only one on my floor tonight (and tomorrow night) so that sucks :( Sunday, the house will be more filled with only Ignacio not here, so that will be nice. So not used to the house being quiet! It's been nearly a month since I moved in! Amazing or whut! I can honestly say I've become quite comfortable here and been able to get along with everyone so that makes me happy :)

So, I'll blog again before I leave.

mwah x
Amelia

Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Lucky

2011-03-23T15:51:00.000Z

There's sun streaming through my window as I type and I am wondering why didn't I do some laundry today?! (-_-) Anyway, bad decisions people. Always do your laundry and don't leave it for 2 weeks and then regret the week before you go travelling and you realise you don't have any more clean underwear to wear. (I have plenty of clean underwear, I'm just sayin')

The weather has been heaven sent today, it's not too sunny yeah? But, amazingly it isn't too cold too! :D so it's all good. Unfortunately, I am being cooped in my room because I am a lazy person so I'm just appreciating the weather through my windows, which I am so thankful for cause they are good windows :D

"I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it's the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person."

I love this quote, there is so so so much truth in this one. I do enjoy laughing so much! It's so good. It makes me feel good, I feel my spirits lifted. I want to make it a point to laugh more often. Laugh with others, laugh at my self, laugh with myself, just laugh and be happy :)

Ah, today's been good so far, spent a good day in Uni with the girls with lots of chatter and laughing and.. hehe :) it's been good. No complaints yo. Tomorrow I've got a presentation and that's the last thing to do for this term! Then I'm free!!!!!! And I can tell it'll be good! I'm prepared. RAWR.

Whiskey tasting and a night out tonight, it'll be good!

xx
AMELIA

Won't you come on over,

2011-03-22T17:07:00.001Z

stop making a fool out of me.

Hello! :) I have not been blogging regularly. Bad Amelia. But anyway, I've been busy, with uni, travels, meeting up with people, alcohol.... ;) Just got back from a good weekend trip from Glasgow on Monday and spent yesterday with Diana, just chillin' and later today I will go out for dinner with my uni mates. Met up with Alice this morning and Becca too! Oh how I've missed that girl! T^T

Last week of school today! :D before easter starts. I leave for Italia on Monday! :D with Allisan and I'm pissing my pants with excitment! Really!!!! :D So much to do, I really hope we manage well!

Ahhh so far so good, I'm in a happy state at the moment and I don't want anything to change at the moment! let it stay the way it is. That would be the best! I've been such a happy girl these couple of days, its lovely lovely lovely.

Anyway, everyone should youtube Joseph Vincent's cover of Plain White Tee's Rhythm of Love. It's all I can listen to at the moment. It is amazing. Also worth youtubing would be: Moby - Temptation. Such good songs, such good lyrics. Ahhhh I love music :)

One more month till I turn 20! I know, some people will never understand why I love birthdays so much. I look forward to it every friggin' year! :D It's always a good day and I'm hoping this year would be no exception!!!!! I do wish I was home for it though, wake up in my own bed and be spoiled completely by my parents the whole day and get to eat some good home cooked food. Chloe and Becky will be there.... Gahhhhhhhh Oh well, it will be just as good here I know :)

AH I AM SUCH A CHILD AT HEART *hearts*

Sitting in my room, waiting for time to pass by, singing at the top of my lungs to The Zutons - Valerie. Cause, I'm kool like that. hehe *blush* hahahaha

Looking forward to dinner. Also, I have the cutest shirt on today! it's a cartoon chicken! :D

Also, got another hair cut while in glasgow. Got a blunt fringe, finally. Also, will be the last haircut in a while. I WANT LONG HAIR NAO!

just incase you guys forget my FACE HEHEHEH

xxxxxx
AMELIA

Pretty baby,

2011-03-15T16:00:00.001Z

This is a potrait picture of the 6 of us living in this house at the moment. All different from each other, unique in their own way. If you listened to the conversations we all have with each other, hilarious stuff! I'm glad that after the last lovely house I was in, I got lucky and found a place with people I get along as well :) it's good stuff that. From the top left, clockwise direction: Me (obvs :P), Katharina, Hazal, Remi, Ignacio and Neil.

Anyway, I need to say this because this is my blog and I sure as hell have loads stuck in my heart/brain/who knows at the moment. I AM SMITTEN! I have not felt like this in the longest time. Heart racing, face blushing and everytime he walks into a room (that I am coincidentally in) I feel like hiding my face in my jacket/shirt/not be seen. I stutter, I can't speak, I have no opinion of my own when faced with this guy and Homgz T^T I feel so young again! hahaha teenage crushes FTW right? :)

It's been raining the entire day now and it's not even light rain. It's heavy shitty rain and it really dampens one mood. Also I don't feel like leaving the house at all T^T which sucks cause besides the bunch of assignments I have I actually have nothing to do hahah except sleep. I could sleep actually, I went to bed at 3am, woke at 5, slept at 6 and woke at 7 again SOOO I probably should sleep and help my eyebagz.

I don't know mannnnnn my stomach is still in knots trying to explain it self. AHHHHHHH hahahahahahah :)

xx
AMELIA
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

I'd wish you the best but.

2011-03-13T12:47:00.000Z

Hello wello, I've got my nail painted a lovely shade of coral green, it's been ages since I've last had my nails painted. I've missed seeing them in colours really. I need to stop biting my nails :( I want long pretty nails to have a perfect manicure on. Okay challenge of the week: to stop biting my nails!

Yesterday, however shitty it started got an uplift. Meeting Remi's (one of my housemates) girlfriend, Yuka has been lovely! There are a bunch of things we can both relate too and it's great that sometimes in the midst of a very heated conversation, it's comforting to look across the table and catch eye with someone who feels the exact way that you do : confused with the conversation! haha :p It's funny because when I'm with my friends, we hardly talk about politics or history or the economy and maybe that's bad because when other people talk about it I have no idea what is going on. But these people, they get so passionate, heated about all of these topics. They debate and laugh and talk about these topics. Amazing.

Yuka made us some lovely japanese pork curry for dinner and it was yumz ! :) I made dessert: some choc chip nutella cookies and if i must say so myself, they were brilliant :D *shameless* after some wine (umeshu!) and painting our nails (Yuka and I, cause we are girly like that) we headed out to catch The Adjustment Bureau. I say, Matt Damon is my ultimate hero. I've watched him from his early films to what he does today and he is amazing. He can do everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Alrighty then, I'd like to get some work done today. but first, food!

xx
Amelia.

Fast forward.

2011-03-12T11:39:00.000Z

Sometimes I'd like to disappear for a while just to see if anyone realises I'm gone.

The saddest part of it is I don't think people will realise I'm gone. I don't think anyone would particularly miss my absence. And even when they do, I am almost certain that they will get over it quickly, without a doubt.

I hate the human race sometimes. I abhor living sometimes. I wish I was gone. Dead to the world. Away.

I'm so sick of living sometimes and I know, my life isn't all that difficult. I've got food to eat, a roof above my head and plenty of clothes to keep me warm but yet, I'm not satisfied with anything. Maybe I'm in the wrong part of the world. Maybe I'm just not meant to be here. Maybe I'm just a mistake waiting to be erased.

:'(

x
Amelia.

Someone like you

2011-03-04T02:03:00.001Z

"Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead."

I've been completely addicted to Adele's Someone Like You. There's so much emotion in her singing, I really feel super "kam dong" while listening to her song.

I'm on the bus to London as I type this on my trusty bb :) I've got 6 more hours till we reach and I've been sitting on my bum on the same chair for the past 7 hours. Its great! :p but London is always good and I'm excited for this weekend. It'll be a nice getaway from Aberdeen for a while :) I'm happy to be accompanied by the always lovely Allisan and Diana. Will be meeting Shim who's bussing down from Sheffield on Friday and meeting up with the dynamic duo: Zay and Zakky on Saturday :D hehe

So many food places we wanna try out too! We've got to make the required reservations of course. Must remember to do that hurhur :D I'm trying to keep on a budget this trip. I want to only get a new pair of heels (£30 max) and a new beige/brownish trench coat! (£50 max) so hopefully I find them. Also a couple of dresses (£20 max each) so that'll be good :p

I've realised I bite my nails because I'm stressed out, angry, annoyed, excited etc but today I found out that I also bite my nails cause I'm bored! T^T which is really really uncool as I was in a really boring snooze worthy tutorial today and by the end of it I had a nail very deeply bitten in, bloody and red throbbing with pain.... And I had no idea I was even biting my nails. Amazing.

Okay, imma try my luck for another hour of sleep!

xx
Amelia!
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Dancing shoes.

2011-02-28T15:41:00.000Z

Its amazing how far we've come :)

xx
Amelia

P/s I have no internet at home at it sucks so bad :'(
Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

Enchanted

2011-02-25T18:14:00.000Z

Maybe not today, losing weight I mean. Made a delicious batch of butter cake. Reminds me so much of a few years ago, baking every sunday. I love baking, the sweet aroma of the batter baking in the oven and the whole house filled with the lovely lovely smell. Anyway, it was a really really good batch of cake if I must say so myself *self praise wtf* hahahah I didn't have enough ingredients so I improvised too :D

So frustrating I wish I could just be comfortable in my body and stop all this hate. ARGH

Anyway, I'm moving out next week, again, sadly. I am extremely happy in this house at the moment.. these 2 months have been so much fun and I've been happy to live here. Unfortunately someone else had already booked the room I am in advance so I'm required to move out by April but I will be moving on the 1st of March. :) I am sad and nervous for the next house I'm moving to will be filled with strangers, all 5 of them so I'm definitely nervous.

Tonight one of them is throwing a birthday party and they invited me along, so I'm gonna go with Diana to check out my new housemates. I'll be the youngest one in the house and I'm hoping everything would be okay and I get along with everyone :) Wouldn't it be so cool if it turned to be like Jersey Shore hahahahaah! ya a little obsessed with JS at the moment. Pauly D and Snooki are my favourite people in Jersey Shore followed by Vinny and J-Wow. SO COOL LAR THEM. I wish I was them. Fuck Miami, bring me to Jersey shore. hahahahaha I know the places around by heart alrdy! haha :3

Anyway yeah. Diana should be coming over any minute now so I'm gonna go get ready.

lotsa love
Amelia.

Been waiting.

2011-02-24T21:12:00.000Z

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.
- The Beatles.

Hello,

The word beautiful means so much doesn't it? People long to be called beautiful. People long to be beautiful. Beautiful things make the world go round. People want to see beautiful, they want to touch beautiful. They want to do everything with beautiful.

I need to get my act together. Like someone once said.. there's no such thing as ugly or fat girls. Just lazy ones.

Amelia, stop eating so much and dedicate yourself to working out.

xx
Amelia.

I don't need no rings..

2011-02-22T08:54:00.000Z

I JUST WANT TO BE ABOUT 48KGS.

Mannn I'm so annoyed. Everyday I wake and I just keep packing on those kilos. I don't know what to do. Eating healthy and moderately isn't working. Exercising is kinda shit faced cause it leaves me so tired. I guess I need to revert to 3 years ago, and do something about this.

I'M SO TIRED OF FEELING FAT ALL THE TIME. ARGH

I want to cry myself to sleep even though I only just got up. So disgusted with all the fats, on my face, on my body. The clothes I can't fit. ARGGGH.

I wish someone invented the pill that'll make us lose weight in a heartbeat.

@&!@^#@#

xx
Amelia.

Rapunzel Rapunzel

2011-02-21T17:12:00.000Z

Today has been a lovely day albeit the horrible weather. I cease to understand that in late February at the end of winter, the temperature still dips to about 0degrees complete with in-your-face wind and the works. It's gloomy all around. Everything is grey. It really does suck the life out of you.

Will be heading to the beach for some bowling :) 99p! So it's worth a shot.

I wish time would go faster so I'll be home soon.

I think I need some warmth for my soul.

xx
Amelia.

Just to let me down.

2011-02-20T09:45:00.000Z

I woke up from an abusive dream this time. It was scary and.. very very uncool. Why am I dreaming about the worst dreams these few days? I want to sleep dreamless, waking without a memory. I'd like my mind to rest when I sleep. I think and worry too much already when I'm awake. I'd like to just have a blank mind when I sleep. So annoying, is there anywhere I could get pills for that?

I bite my nails. Everyone knows I bite my nail, bad. These days when I'm feeling nervous, sad or a little stressed up I chomp on my nails so bad it's reaches the flesh and then hurt like a mutha :( I know, I know .. my own ruddy fault for chomping on my nails when I can be doing so much more like ......... yeah. Hmm. argh but it's hurting to type now and because I don't have nails on that specific finger, it doesn't balance out when I type? So I keep pressing the wrong alphabet. (-_-)

I'm gonna stay home today and finish off my accounting homework.

xx
Amelia.

Gloomy days

2011-02-19T09:54:00.000Z

Just some pictures cause I haven't had any colour on my page :)

xx
Amelia

A Recollection.

2011-02-18T08:41:00.000Z

So we're in love and everything is great. A vampire outbreak happens and you hide me.You hide me well. I am hidden for quite a while. I meet other people hiding. I meet friends who have been bitten, banging at the door begging for help. But I can't do anything to help them. I tell the other people hiding. I must go out. I must find you. So, they find a way out and just as I'm leaving the building.. I see Chloe. She's been bitten but she looks like she's looking for someone. I can't approach her yet and so I run. I can't find you, and everyone around me looks like they've been infected. I get attacked by a man. He tries to bite me and lo and behold, I've got resistance. The fangs won't go through. I become invisible, little by little.. First thing I do, I run to look for Chloe. I cry when I see Chloe, half my legs are invisible. She tells me she's sorry about what she's about to do and I say no, it's fine. I won't be affected by the bite. She tells me that you told her where I was and she was looking for me to bring me somewhere. I cry a little more and ask her where you are. She tells me that you're safe as well but you had to do something for a little while and couldn't come get me. I follow Chloe.

20 years go by and I'm fully invisible. I get around but people don't see me. They don't hear me. The outbreak has simmered down. I live with who Chloe helps me get by. She is amazing. She's recovered from the disease mostly, on medication. I write to let people understand and hear me. I'm still looking for you. One day, on the news I see you. You .. properly dressed receiving an award. You .. you had found a cure for the disease somehow. I knew I had to look for you and so I do.

I find your address and I go one morning. The door wasn't locked. I walk in. And the apartment is neat and I see a room with the door open. I see a picture of me on the wall and I knew instantly the room is yours. It's neat with everything properly placed. You're not in it of course, you're in the toilet. I cry, because I've been looking for you all these years. I walk into another room and your room mate is still sleeping (for some absurd reason your room mate looks exactly like Andrew Garfield). I inspect the apartment a little and everything is so clean and lovely and you walk out of the toilet. Like you do, with your wet hair and towel around your body. I think, the first time I see you after 20 years, I couldn't hold back. I run. But you don't see me. I hug. You still don't see me. But you feel me. I scream. You don't hear me but you hug me back. I think at that time you know exactly who I was but I think it freaks you out a little. You back away, thinking you are crazy but I hold on to you. I write on your chest that I miss you and I've been looking for you. He says he's been looking for me too. He asks why I'm invisible. I tell him the whole story.

He tells me he's sure that I've got some special gene that made me invisible to protect myself after the first "bite" and he tells me he knows someone who can help me. I believe you and I follow you. True enough, I start coming back. You see me and you cry. You cry tears of happiness. I cry too.

And then I wake up.

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH MY DREAMS?!!!!!!!!!!!

The first part was super scary and the end was super WTF. WHY AM I STILL DREAMING ABOUT PEOPLE WHO SHOULDN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME?! (not Chloe cause I do miss her so much.) It's so ridiculous. I want a brain wash. PRONTO.

Argh.

Apart from that, the weekend has started and CNY has officially ended so.. everyone have a greeeeeat weekend not eating like a pig :D

xx
Amelia.

Somebody to love

2011-02-16T15:31:00.000Z

These days, I don't know if it's the weather or my weight gain, my impending best friend.. I'm feeling down. More down than I'm supposed to be feeling. I'm moving out in 2 weeks, again. I'm tired and really, I feel so.. lost at the moment. I want time to stop so I can just be where I am at the moment. Just at peace with not much on my mind. I don't want to have to think about anything .. anyone .. I'm so tired of being alive some times. I have so much regrets in the back of my mind.

I am lost. I am unhappy.

I need to find myself again.

Somebody save me, please. I am asking with all of my heart and soul. Please.

xx
Amelia.