Many of times, I am envious of some many things and people in the world. Materialistic, emotion envy. Name it, and I've probably been envious bout it before. I can definitely say, I'm a pretty jealous girl. One of the seven deadly sins: Envy.
I can't help it. I can't help longing for things I don't have. Aspects of life I wish I had. The ability and talents that some people have that I don't. The easy love that some lucky people have between them.
Right now, I am currently envious of people who aren't too sensitive, people who can totally evade emotions. Putting on a tough front and having a tough heart as well as skin as well. I am totally jealous of you guys. I want to be just like you. That way, I probably wouldn't hurt as many people as I have. I wanna have people talk about me and not caring about it, flick it off my shoulders like it was a piece of cotton ball. I want to have you tell me you won't be here, and I don't need to be sad, crying and unhappy. I want to have the confidence that some people have oozing out of them. I want to be able to walk high and tall and feel like I'm alright. Like, I'm super duper.
Never in my life. I can safely say again, never in my life will I ever not feel anything :( and that's what scares me the most.
Lovelove,
Amelia
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