Friday, January 14, 2011

Last good thing.

You didn’t love her, you just didn’t want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe, she was just good for your ego, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life, but you didn’t love her, because you don’t destroy the people you love. — Grey’s Anatomy
One thing I can't stand in the whole world is slender skinny girls whining about how they need to lose another 3 kgs or "omg, my thighs are SO flabby" or how they are not skinny enough etc etc. Makes NORMAL people like ME feel like shit about myself. One, if you're "FAT" what does that make me? OBESE?! Fuck man. It's so annoying.

Losing weight is never an easy process, there is so much that is needed to be sacrificed and the worst part is getting results so damned slow. There's the controlled portions, and the strenuous exercising, the rumbling stomach, the very very fake ," no, it's okay I am very full already, I will not have another portion of your delicious roast chicken" (Yes, I am currently craving some succulent roast drumsticks) and then once a week, we have the weigh in only to discover we've only lost like 0.2kgs. How demoralizing is that?!  It is very, trust me. And some days I wake up with a big bloated tummy or I can't fit into something I could 2 years ago ..... and then I feel like I failed and hence emotional binge eating starts. Well, not at the moment because I really wanna be 47/48/49/ LESS THAN 50 kgs by the time June comes but I basically feel like crap.

I reminisce to two years ago and I was a skinny fuck! Like 45kgs was my lowest but basically I was an average of 48kgs and I WAS COMPLAINING ABOUT HOW BIG MY TUMMY WAS AND HOW FAT MY ARMS ARE AND ETC. Such a dumbass, little did my 2008/9 self knew what was instore for her in 2010/11................................... hefty 60kgs, BOOM SHA KA LA KA. SIENZ NVM. I am on the road to self recovery and this time I WILL STAY THERE because I wanna have more clothes to wear, I wanna look more chio (AHHA WTF) cause a slimmer face is always better than a si beh dua face like a dumpling.

PATIENCE AMELIA, perseverance will get you somewhere eventually. After this lousy 6 months, you will be happy with the outcome (I HOPE PLZ). I want to get perseverance tattooed on top of my hand so I see it all the time. It will get me somewhere..... patience.. ....... ....

WHY DOES IT TAKE SO LONG. Why can't I starve myself for a day and go down like 3kgs straightaway?!


Anyway, this is totally some bo liao blogging from me because I am a pro-procrastinator and if I'm not procrastinating to revise what else would I be doing? Bottom line, I wanna be skinny/not fat/not 60 kgs/48kgs plz  and let it be soon. I wanna wear pretty dresses!!!!!!!


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