Friday, September 3, 2010

I don't even know if it's worth it anymore.

SOTD! (Song of the day, duh!) Yeah, cause it's early and I got no quote to put up.

Anyway, song of the day is Muse - Starlight.

I am feeling like a right bitch today. Like an even bigger one than I am everyday. Spent the night worrying about rubbish that I am honestly sick about and then the electricity went off so my room was boiling and I couldn't sleep at 4am till about 6am soooo that kinda sucked ass.

I do not understand why these "shops"/"businesses" etc are adding me up on facebook. They are obviously not human so what the fuck do they want trying to add me as a friend. Rubbish! Start a page or something not a facebook account with a profile with friends cause shops can't have friends. Stupid. Hate it how the purpose of something can manipulated into something that it wasn't made for? Fuck the sentence, doesn't make jack sense.

Heading out for some lunch with Timothy (lol), Alex and Diana. Maybe Gary.. maybe that'll lift up my mood. They are funny people. I am not hungry though, had so much to eat for breakfast.

I wish I had endless episodes of True Blood to distract me from the real world. I'm up to episode 6 already and only 2 more episodes till I finish all the episodes I have :'( I am not ready to stop watching it till I'm back in the UK cause streaming in Brunei sucks ASS. Fuck. Even Youtube can't work properly!!! What is up with the internet man. Grr. Oh wait, just remembered Rebecca gave me another series called Lie To Me which has 2 seasons so that'll take some time off me.

I meant to type about something else, but I don't remember what it is anymore. I think I'm getting amnesia early ala Moment To Remember (Korean movie). I think I wouldn't mind that shit actually. It'll be nice.

I am glad I've returned to blogging regularly, it is nice to do so, typing heals my soul a little. Its the sound of the keys going clickity clickity (ish) and the endless rubbish I type up and it's nice to see alphabets appear up on my screen you know? :) It's like magic. What would we do without technology?!!!! I think I would wither away and die. I am serious.  8) I like my technology i.e Laptop, cell phone, mp3 player, is a car considered technology?! I could do without a cell phone sometimes but the rest, they are very much needed :)

The song, Starlight, the lyrics: Far away, this ship's taking me far away.... I keep hearing it as: Far away, this shit's taking me far away. Hahaha and I was like, this can't be right so I googled up the lyrics and true enough, I was wrong. I think my ears are going to the rats as well. Eyesight, hearing, memory all down the drain. HURRAH FOR YOUTH. What is wrong with me, I feel like a 19year old (not even) stuck in an 80 yr old body. Ok maybe I don't even feel 19. I feel like 40 or something but whatevs. I just feel OLD and FRAGILE and kooky. Really kooky with all my mood swings and shit. Madness I tell you. MADNESS.

Maybe I do belong to a mental home. My mom thinks so anyway. She thinks I'm well out of my mind and I'll need to speak to a psychiatrist. Or a therapist or something. I told her, I agree with her but where the fuck in Brunei am I gonna get one. So I told her I will write in a journal or something. SO I did. But I'm a lazy fuck who doesn't seem to have the energy to pick up a pen and right down everything that's bugging me so I don't think that's helping me much .So I type but this just shows how mad/ crazy I am and people reading are going to judge. Buttttt i reallly cannot give a shit anymore. I'm going nuts.

Also, I think I was quite productive this summer because although I didn't go party, have a tan, crashed a car or did drugs or got a tattoo or flew somewhere exciting or shop. I lost 5 kilos! Which is great :) I need to lose the other 4 or 5 more or even 6. WHich I will accomplish when I am back in the UK. I am motivated and I want to be tiny. SOOOOOO go me!

OH and watched Fashion Police on the Emmys last night. And WTF was some people wearing T^T You would think if they had to chance to choose all sorts of designer dresses some of them would have the decency to pick out something DECENT or GORGEOUS RIGHT. But Nooooo these people come wearing stuff made for halloween and the vampires wedding or something. Or like they're going to an Alice in the Wonderland party. WHY DO THEY DO THIS. I SHOULD BE A SUPERSTAR SO I CAN DRESS UP AND WEAR GORGEOUS STUFF AND SHOW all those bitches how it's done. Annoying.

Wow. I truly am going nuts. hehehe


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