Friday, December 3, 2010

Hey Soul Sister.

"I knew I wouldn't forget you and so I went and let you blow my mind.." Train - Hey Soul Sister.
Hello Wello, I am feeling immensely better today, and yesterday. Actually I think the crying did me a whole lot of good. I am glad that I had that tiny (okay maybe not) emotional breakdown. I think it was what I needed. Now Amelia, man the fuck up and don't be an emotional wreck no more. The crying is horrid for my eyes! although it does put me to a good sleep. Not worth it though. Yet again, I am thankful for my friends really. They are a whole lot of help. I am so so thankful.

I have been doing a lot of thinking and maybe I would have been a lot happier in Australia, studying. Whether it be the weather or the closeness to home or even the company I would get there, I have a feeling that it would be a lot better than now. It's -10 degrees as I type and it's only 12pm and the beginning of December. At night it dips to -16, -17 degrees and I freeze when I go to sleep. It's horrible. The weather is insane to the membrane. It really is quite depressing. I hate making decisions for that matter. I always end up making the wrong decisions and then I hate myself for it. The thing is as well, I am so unforgiving to myself (and to other I think so too) that I keep blaming myself for all these wrong decisions. It's sick. :(

I really do miss home. And everything that comes with it.


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