Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Can't make you love me.

"You're going to leave me, aren't you? You've had enough of me, haven't you? You're probably so tired of all this crying and all these moods, and I've got to tell you, so am I. So am I. Sometimes it seems like my mind has a mind of it's own, like I just get hysterical, like it's something I can't control at all. And I don't know what to do, and I feel so sorry for you because you don't know what to do either. And I'm sure you're going to leave me now." Prozac Nation by Elizabeth Wurtzel
So relevant to me one year ago. I'm glad to say, I do not relate to this at the moment. What a relief. I really like how it's written though, so raw. I wish I had the power in me to write. To write beautifully. To make people want to quote me.. How I wish.

I have started my weight-loss program, like a serious one cause the doctor said it's much needed. I've got too much blood in me, too much iron and a high amount of LDL cholesterol level. I've got the body of a very well fed 40 year old. HAHA! But serious note, the doctor told me to reduce tons of things, I actually have a list of food I shouldn't be eating anymore from the doctor. mmm..

My mom says, it doesn't matter if I was fat and healthy. The fact that I'm fat and UNhealthy is what bothers her so I'm on a diet, exercise regime (sorta). It seems that when I was skinnier (+/- 10kgs lighter) I was healthier. Soooooo that's the plan. To lose all the weight off. So I came back to Brunei weighing 58.8kgs. Today I weight 57.5kgs. So far so good. Hoping for a loss of at least 1kg every week. Shouldn't be too difficult now.. right? Last year, during my 3 month break, I manged to lose 5 kgs (I was also 58kgs when I got back).. so... hopefully things go as planned! Need to start being healthy some more!!!

Watching a documentary based in HK about stray dogs. There's a program where they are trying to bring in all the stray dogs for check ups and to be spayed and cleaned up and fed and looked after and put up for adoption. I have so much respect for people who does these kind of things, gives me hope for humanity. Really.



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