Saturday, July 23, 2011

No appropriate title.


It's been nearly a year and I haven't brought you up in this blog much at all. How have you been? I hope you are well and happy and satisfied with your year abroad. I'm going to see you soon, and I've been wondering how it is going to be like. I hope it's not awkward, I hope it doesn't make me sad, I hope it goes well, and I hope I will be happy for you regardless of whatever happens-- (and by this I mean, if you've found someone else that makes you happy).

I've been okay, the part where you told me you didn't love me anymore, that was a good move really. I want to thank you for doing that. I am going to thank you somehow, without making it awkward. Breaking up with me was the right thing to do. It gave me courage to be myself again. I was falling apart, dying slowly and painfully inside when we were together, and you were gone. Now that I think about it, it was a wise move. You always knew what was good for me. I started becoming more social, made great friends and even found the courage to leave the hell hole I was in. Looking back, I am ashamed for how I acted. It was silly and immature. It must have been hard for you. That is why I didn't blame you at all for walking away. I'd have walk away from myself if I had seen what I was turning into.

If you were wondering, no, I've not found anyone yet. I'd like to think that I haven't found that somebody who could take your place/ be better than you. I've met guys who were sort of meh~, something just wasn't right. One of my housemates told me that I'm only worthy of an amazing guy, one that will blow my mind away. So I'm going to wait patiently, cause I know he'll come one day, until then though, you are always on my mind. Not 24/7 anymore, thankfully. Just times, when I hear a certain song, or when I watch a movie with someone.. I'm okay, I'm good. I've come to terms with so many things.

In this past year, I've changed and I'll like to think it's for the better. I'm a lot more independent. I cry a lot less and I am able to cook! I think if you still cared, you would have been proud. Unfortunately, I've gone back to my old ways about my weight. This summer has been exceptionally hard on me regarding my weight. So, I've gone back to caring about my weight, and trying to lose some in the process. I also haven't been the healthiest, regardless of eating well this year. So far this year, I've fainted 3 times and not for the same reasons either. It's good, you're not my boyfriend anymore. You don't have to worry about me. You won't have to worry about me anymore since I'm not your problem anymore. And I don't mean this in a spiteful way.

All in all, I just want to thank you for the break up. It's made me into a much better woman, if I may. I'm looking forward to see you, and I hope we stay as friends. You're one hell of a guy, and it'd be great to have you as a friend.

Lots of love always,

1 comment:

  1. walking here with a smile.. have a nice day ~ =D

    Regards, (A Growing Teenager Diary) ..