Sunday, August 21, 2011

La dolce vita

I had a great day :) baked peanut butter cookies, had a great dinner out with my parents and loved every minute I got to spend with them. I also have two amazing dogs who somehow has the sniffles, must be the weather and I'm so blessed to have a maid at home who'll clean up after me. Good food for dinner, even ice-cream for dessert ...

I've been reading a couple of tumblrs and I realise that I would want to be with a guy who accepts all kinds of lovin' whether it is homo/hetero/bi. Love is love. There's no other way to describe love. Why should love between a man and a woman be any different from love between a man and a man or a man and a woman. We are all human beings, all homo sapiens.. we're all the same. In the future, I'd like to be with a man who will love my child regardless of his or her sexual orientation. This is a little far-fetched but I'd like to be able to accept my child in whatever form he or she appears to me in. I swear I'll love that little boy/girl.

I feel that sometimes I am so, misunderstood. Really. People see me as difficult and really really bitchy and mean. But I don't think I am so. I can be difficult at times, and bitchy but not mean. I mean, who's never difficult? We're not perfect??? I think I am a nice person, deep down. I only have good intentions. I usually don't mean what comes out of my mouth... I don't know. I feel like nobody's ever going to really know who I am, and love what I am. I feel like, all I have is myself. I hope I find someone who will understand, accept and love me for who I am.

These days I've been feeling more alone than ever. Must be the PMS. Or, the cut down in social networks but I miss having someone by my side. I miss having someone to cuddle with. I miss coming home to someone who'll talk to me till I fall asleep. I think it's time a boy came by and save me from all my troubles. Bring me high on the clouds, make me happy. It sucks that I have come to the realization that perhaps, I am a relationship person. I think being in a relationship is good for me regardless of what happens, I am usually happy. The minute the break-up happens, that's when shit goes down. I don't know.

Not that being single is not fun at all. Sure, it has its perks. But it's been a year. I could do with some spooning, some kisses on the forehead, giggling uncontrollably and making up next to a face that makes me smile.

Who knows? Maybe next year might be my year.


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