Tuesday, May 4, 2010

This is going to take a long time..

Don't you just love it when you've read a brilliant article irregardless of whatever topic, in my case, on food, and you're just inspired to write? Or be more creative or something? I am making my keyboard sticky now because I'm having some honey on bread and for some unknown reason, i keep getting honey on my fingertips. This is annoying. I forgot how much I love having honey on my bread. At one point of my teenage life, to be more precise January till Late March 2008 all I ever wanted to eat was honey on bread. Bread drenched with honey. I remember sneak-eating them during BGIC meetings, even in the main hall and then I'd get all my sticky fingers over all the papers and everything. Good times :) I was a pretty bad delegate of Mozambique. Totally not my scene all these BGIC stuff. To be completely honest though, I don't remember much about BGIC besides having tons of honey bread and being completely and naively swept off my feet which then lead to a bad downfall 5 months later.

It's the little things in life that I always remember. Nothing too important, nothing actually important. Just things I always sit and day dream about. The way things used to be, the way things should be.. People talk about plans,.... Do I have a plan? It's a complicated thing, planning. I enjoy planning. I like knowing what I'll be doing everyday, what I'll be wearing, who I'll be seeing. Its the little OCD part of me that keeps planning. A way of making sure I know what I am sort of doing. But, a life plan. Some people would say that there shouldn't be a plan, let things happen the way they are supposed to happen, everything will fall in place, planning would just screw things up. I disagree. We should all have a plan. Even I have a plan, sort of. It doesn't have to be in depth, but enough so I don't get lost. I have a plan that I'll be finished with University, spend a couple of years gaining experience, working in a brilliant firm, married, maybe kids, retirement, and opening that bakery I always dream about. That's my plan. I don't know how I plan on sticking to it, but I hope I do because it sounds like a great plan to me.

Some of you would know, my main passion is really food. Cooking, baking, eating.. I enjoy eating more than I enjoy shopping. If it wasn't up to my parents, I wouldn't be doing accounting and finance. No ruddy economics or business law for me. I'd be doing culinary arts, pursuing something that I'd probably really enjoy. Waking up, looking forward to working in kitchens, with knifes and pots and pans, the oven and everything. I want to wear a chef uniform, I want to be able to head into the kitchen and whip up something amazing, something that people would wow at, something that will make people smile while tasting it. I want to be creative with my work, to be able to be spontaneous, daring.. to make people and their tummies happy.

Of course, words and just words, and there is probably really no point in me saying. But that's what I love about blogs. I always forget how much I love sitting and typing, listening to the tap of each key on the keyboard, the feeling I get when I type non-stop with words just streaming out of my fingers and mind. It's been so long since I've remembered this feeling and reading tons of blogs this afternoon (mostly about food: I'm on the quest for lovely recipes I can try out in the new flat), I felt the most inspired to type. I love being being able to express my self in words, which I think is so much easier and comfortable for me to do. I don't stumble over my words, I don't stammer, I don't go into a minute voice that is incomprehensible, I don't have to look down or be aware of my facial expression. I don't have to worry if I'm going to cry or if I want to laugh really loud over some silly thing I just said without thinking.

Right now, I'm not sure how I am mentally. I'm tired, spent the night thinking about overdramatic thoughts as always. Crying. and crying. It's been a while, since I've been able to let out all this anguish (okay, this word is a bit over but it just came into my head and it's a rather large word and it makes me feel smart! haha) (I actually got the word from Dido & Aeneas which is the damned opera i had to learn for IB Music- bad times :P) cries and maybe it was just what I needed. Felt better this morning albeit the pretty swolen eyelids which made it difficult to slab on the mascara cause I kept getting it on my lids (-.-) Took me ages to figure out why I could just put my mascara on properly. Kampung much?

OH Which reminds me. GOOD LUCK TO ALL IB STUDENTS! (for my readers I have Elaine and Diana) YOU GUYS WILL DO WELL!! If I could do it,probably anybody could do it :p haha! I wouldn't mind doing the IB again instead of having to prepare for the fuckin uni exams in 3 weeks. Grr. Give me HL business and music and MALAY WL anytime of the day. So much easier. Blargh.

I really cannot understand where all this honey is coming from. I keep cleaning my fingers and as I type more, my board just feels more stickier and stickier. This is downright annoying. -.-

Righteo. Till the next post!

Lots of love,

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