Those Bright Lights

Yep, after nearly 5 years of having my own "original" layouts, I am not reverting to blogger's own. It is boring and not very creative but at least I won't have to spend hours figuring out all those pesky HTML codes just so I can add a comment section to my posts. And while, I have done this I do hope I get feedback/comments from the small number of you who read this :)

Woke up today in the foulest of moods. I had a dream I missed a plane to Barcelona and I had people bitching on my back. Said, I was the reason for the missed plane. Anyway, that wasn't the reason why I woke up in a foul mood.. just did because. And then breakfast was just downright pathetic. Which after having written a post on breakfast, downright pissed me off. And the weather as well! it is warm as fuck. Which I totally hate, knowing Amelia, I do not enjoy the sun, I do not enjoy heat. Heat cranks me up. Makes me boil inside, angry as hell. I don't mind the cold. I can freeze and be cold but if the heat gets to me, you really don't wanna be around me.

My room smells sort of weird. Have not spent much time in my room, as I've been sleeping over at the boyfriend's. If I didn't open my windows, it would smell like a mix of instant noodles, hot chocolate and shoes. Yes, shoes. Bad shoes. :P But now, it is a mix of a very diluted shoes, laundry, hot chocolate and I can foresee the future, in a bout 20 minutes more instant noodles. Whatevs. It smells the best after I've stayed in the whole day, having done 2 showers and then my room will smell of lotion and flowers (nice ones) and yes :)

I am not one for surprises. Especially surprises I need to be ready for. Like, a surprise place for dinner, or you know, a venue where how we dress is a big factor. Like, if I don't know where I am going how will I know what to wear? That annoys me. Big time. I do however like surprises in small doses. The hug from behind when I don't expect it. Or food at the door when I am hungry. Or people spontaneously agreeing to my suggestions. I like being surprised when I am down. Little things that people bother to do to pick me right up again. Like telling a joke, or telling me something I definitely want to hear. Like when you tell me I'm pretty and that you love me. Little things like that.

I am feeling quite fragile today, besides being angry. Songs, my tumblr posts they are all making me tear up and I know exactly why. I wanna drown in ice cream and whipped cream and all things nice and sparkly. I miss home a little. I miss you, you, and you so much.

I really do wanna escape this for a while. I don't wanna do my exams. I don't wanna have to wait for this ordeal to pass. I just want to be happy. and right now, today, I'm not quite that. I'm not looking forward to so many things. One of which, is when you leave me. But I can't stop anything. I can't do anything. It sucks.

Lovelove,
Amelia..