Wednesday, July 7, 2010

"And I promise."

I wrote a whole long entry on something very important to my heart. But I erased it. I feel that unless I get it done somehow then I'd have something to talk about. And that will be the case.

I think it's about time I explain the whole Max thing and why I constantly talk about him (to certian people) and why I am missing him to the extreme.

When Max and I got together sometime in November.. he had applied for an exchange program to the great Hong Kong for the next whole academic year (i.e Aug/Sept 2010 till May/June 2011) and Max being Max, :) he got the grades for it and will be doing his exchange in HK. And we've talked about it, discussed it and we're going to stay together and take a stab at this relationship. And I know I've put down the whole LDR thing a lot but I am going to do this, and hope for the best.

So, we'll be apart for the next 14/15months (since June 19th 2010, till probably the start of my 3rd year which would be about September 2011). But so far, we've been doing pretty decently. Texts, emails, facebook! and the ever great skype. While the time difference is horrendous and he's started his summer job... it's difficult but manageable. When he wakes up, I'm out and when he finished work I'm asleep.

It's been two weeks and a half since we parted in the middle of the airport after reaching London from Aberdeen. It was a sad separation and if it was up to me, I wish I didn't cry so much. I had so many words I planned to tell him. I had decided what to say and everything while we were both on the 1.5 hour plane ride from Aberdeen to London. The minute we landed, and walked out and he put his handcarry on the floor and look behind at me. I knew. Turned out we had to go two opposite ways. I had that scenario played so many times before, but it didn't turn out like how I hope it would. I wish I turned around once more to see him walk away. I wish I called out his name so I could give him one last hug. I wish I didn't just started crying and trembling so badly when he gave me his last hug while he was telling me things I needed to hear. The 13hour flight to Singapore was horrible. I wouldn't wish it on any couple :( Constant crying for at least 12 hours. I am such a bad crybaby. I hate it so much.

And I still cry so much. Early mornings and late nights are the worst. I don't think my pillow has gone by a day without being damp. Even worse are when I'm driving and songs that mean so much start popping up. It's not cool at all.

So yes, now hopefully you'll understand why I will write a lot of posts about memories and thoughts. I will write a lot of posts that will only be about one boy. And I hope you guys will deal with that, and not annoy you too much. Same with my tweeter followers. I feel that if I write and blog/twit about these things, it helps me remember and I have a bad memory and I am so terrified of forgetting certain things.


Lots of love,

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