I am feeling the most unattractive I have ever felt. That is a lie of course, cause I felt unattractive when I was 46kgs and I still thought I wasn't thin enough cause being fat was unattractive, but this time it's different. I don't know if it's cause I'm 60kgs, or my fringe isn't parting the way I want it to be, or that my hair re-growth is appalling, or my eyebrows are wonky. I don't know if it's because I am lazy, or I am feeling slightly alone, or I am really annoyed about the world (as always).
I'd like to be beautiful, or to even appear to be beautiful. I want people to call me beautiful, to look at my pictures and gasp in awe, I want to be envied about. I want people to look at me, wishing they could look like me, to be like me.
It is very vain of me to exclaim so, but this is how I am feeling.
I need to do re-dye my hair, I need to get my eyebrows done, I need to lose weight, I need to stop frowning and start smiling even more. I need to learn to be beautiful.