Saturday, May 28, 2011


I am feeling the most unattractive I have ever felt. That is a lie of course, cause I felt unattractive when I was 46kgs and I still thought I wasn't thin enough cause being fat was unattractive, but this time it's different. I don't know if it's cause I'm 60kgs, or my fringe isn't parting the way I want it to be, or that my hair re-growth is appalling, or my eyebrows are wonky. I don't know if it's because I am lazy, or I am feeling slightly alone, or I am really annoyed about the world (as always).

I'd like to be beautiful, or to even appear to be beautiful. I want people to call me beautiful, to look at my pictures and gasp in awe, I want to be envied about. I want people to look at me, wishing they could look like me, to be like me.

It is very vain of me to exclaim so, but this is how I am feeling.

I need to do re-dye my hair, I need to get my eyebrows done, I need to lose weight, I need to stop frowning and start smiling even more. I need to learn to be beautiful.



  1. Amelia. I understand your feeling so much. I dont have any confidences for myself; appearance and characteristic..:( I always hope I wanna be others except me. Thats why I always put so much make up and create my fake face haha but we are NICE person, at least. we dont hurt others on purpose and we dont bully others. Its the most important things. From my point of view, you are really beautiful girl. its just talking about appearance. I mean you are good at making people fun, making friends, always caring others, helping others and making effort to brush yourself up! at these point, I really envy you because these things are what I dont have. Amelia you are really beautiful girl. xx (If my English is strange as usual, forgive me lol)

  2. :') I'm so happy for people like you. <3 <3 <3 Thank you.