Saturday, June 30, 2012
Everybody's got someone
One of my biggest weakness ever and Allisan (who lived with me for the past year) can vouch for me.. are wedding videos. I don't know what it is about wedding videos that drive me crazy with emotions. I start crying the minute I see the bride getting her veil on by her parents, or when the father or groom starts their speech.. when the couple says their vows and cry and smile and kiss, whenever really. Show me a wedding video and irregardless of who it is in it, I will cry.
There's something so beautiful about weddings. I have not been to a proper wedding ever in my life so I can only imagine how enchanting a wedding must be and to be the main stars of the day. One day filled with major emotions, it must be quite hectic too with the bride and groom filled with nervousness, happiness, ecstaticness.. I don't know.
Ever since I was a little girl, I've always dreamed of a prince charming, someone who will be the one. I have always lived by the notion that there is someone for everyone meaning that, each and every one of us have a soul mate. Someone who will complete us and will make us happy, someone who will be there to support us and to lend us their shoulder when we need to cry. Someone who is the perfect match for you. Even till now, I still live by this notion. Maybe you've not had luck in this department, you know what. There is 7 billion human beings living in the same earth as you and I. I bet you, somewhere someone out there is looking for you too!
It's such a touchy subject. Love. What is love? When do you know it's love? How do you love? I can't say I know much on this subject. During our teenage years, we confuse love with lust and crushes and I think to these days, and I'm sure in the coming years to, the same mistake will be made over and over again. Love and lust, so difficult to differentiate, yet when mistaken can cause so much hurt to others. Ask me now and I'll tell you I'm in love. I say that I am in love and that I love my boyfriend because to me love is all about giving and taking. Love is being there to support one another and to give encouraging words when the other party is down or sad or not confident. Love is being truthful and not keeping things from one another. Love is accepting each other despite all the flaws and wrongs that has happened in the past. Love is understanding and adapting. Love is healthy. Love puts in effort from both side. Love is not selfish. Love keeps you feeling safe and happy and sound. Love makes you sad sometimes, sure, but love makes it up again and again. Love is love and I don't know how to put it in words but to be in love is surely one of the best feelings in the world. It has the power to bring someone out of the darkness and into the sunshine again. Love is powerful. Love exists and love conquers all.
I used to be such a pessimist when it came to the subject of love. I used to not understand the concept and went through several relationships that didn't last very long but nonetheless managed to leave scars and holes in my heart. I believed that what we all had was love. Maybe, it was, maybe it wasn't. See the thing is, you don't hurt the ones you love. You really don't. When you love somebody, you always want them to be happy, you want to be able to be there for them and to hold them when their sad. Think about the love your parents have for you. Parents only ever want the best for their children and I understand that love. I think it is the same between two individuals. You never ever want to hurt the ones you love.
This time, I'm in a relationship (as most of you will know) and even though we have only been together for 7.5 months, I see that it is different this time round. I feel like Jun is my soul mate and I'm writing this down on my blog for all to see because I cannot keep it in me. I know, I am only 21 and I am young but I don't know if people get the feeling when they meet the one but I've felt that "feeling" and my guts and my heart and my brain is telling me everything that points to Jun. He really does complete me and he complements me in all sorts of way. He's perfect for me and he really does make me a better person all the time. He advices, he makes me happy, he accepts, he cooks, he supports and the best thing is he loves me. When he says that he loves me, I don't doubt him. I don't question. I don't fear. I trust. I think this is important. I am forever thankful that we had the chance to meet and to be together. With Jun, I have a plan. We have a plan and we are determined to make sure it works. Watch us. (haha! :P)
Ah! This post has been so emotional for me. I just don't know how to express myself because people don't believe when I tell them I am in love. People roll eyes and people sigh. But, I don't know. This is what I think and what I believe what love is. Love is out there. You just have to keep looking. When you find the one, it'll be worth it. I know it will.
On a different note, it is one of my best friend's birthday today. Happy birthday Chloe! You are amazing and beautiful inside and out and I wish nothing but the best for you in live and love. You deserve so much in life for being the person you are and I am so happy we are friends. I don't know what I would do without you. See you tonight for your party! You will have so much fun!
Lots and lots of love,