Saturday, September 25, 2010

Ghost in the machine

I really needed this on my blog:
People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet ,because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love
Max had come into my life and showed me so many things and by doing that, changed me into a positively better person (if I may say so myself). I like how this paragraph summarizes everything that makes sense to me. It was his time to leave. And now, it is up to me to keep doing what I have been doing.

It's day three since the incident happened. I'm coping, quite well. Shevie (bless that girl, she's been absolutely lovely) told me that I should give myself a time frame for which I will grieve and mourn the loss of someone dear to me. And I will, I'm giving myself a week to cry all I want to think about everything that has happened. I'll give myself a week to drown in self pity wondering why nobody ever loves me the way I would like them too. and by the end of the week (which would be next Thursday), I will keep it all by the side and I will move on. I will not shed a tear anymore for Max, I will not keep bringing up memories that are bound to make me cry. I will not drown in self-pity anymore. I will move on.

I hope that it goes exactly like how I'd like it to go.

Wish me luck? But before that, excuse me while I cry a little bit more and dream about everything that used to be.


1 comment:

  1. Let our scars fall in love.
    --Galway Kinnell

    Life is perspective, pain and sometimes loss. We grow and change through these things, we learn to live and love with them. Sometimes our scars can teach us love. I wouldn't push myself to a definite schedule of mourning for a relationship. I would just treat it as it is, mourn it for so long as you need, but grow in spite of it.

    Good luck.