Ghost in the machine

I really needed this on my blog:

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that’s holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet ,because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave." - Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat Pray Love

Max had come into my life and showed me so many things and by doing that, changed me into a positively better person (if I may say so myself). I like how this paragraph summarizes everything that makes sense to me. It was his time to leave. And now, it is up to me to keep doing what I have been doing.

It's day three since the incident happened. I'm coping, quite well. Shevie (bless that girl, she's been absolutely lovely) told me that I should give myself a time frame for which I will grieve and mourn the loss of someone dear to me. And I will, I'm giving myself a week to cry all I want to think about everything that has happened. I'll give myself a week to drown in self pity wondering why nobody ever loves me the way I would like them too. and by the end of the week (which would be next Thursday), I will keep it all by the side and I will move on. I will not shed a tear anymore for Max, I will not keep bringing up memories that are bound to make me cry. I will not drown in self-pity anymore. I will move on.

I hope that it goes exactly like how I'd like it to go.

Wish me luck? But before that, excuse me while I cry a little bit more and dream about everything that used to be.

xx
Amelia.